The Waiting Game
by Gottaluvit
Summary: Arsenal has been behaving strangely, Nightwing has some suspicions as to whats causing his odd behavior. An AU story set roughly during the Grayson Titans period, don't look for canon there isn't any well not much anyway. I am not a medical expert. Warnin
1. Chapter 1

**Title- The Waiting Game**

**Summary- Arsenal has been behaving strangely, Nightwing has some suspicions as to what's causing his odd behavior.**

**Notes- AU story..I'm not a medical expert so sorry if I get the medical stuff wrong.**

**Rating- M for language.**

**Disclaimer- DC owns all characters.**

**Part 1**

**His mind registered the sound, but his body wasn't ready to let him respond...He struggled mentally to gain control of his limbsas the knocking grew louder, but his legs and arms felt like lead weights. Finally after what seemed like an eternity he was able to open his eye's..."Come in." he called out to whoever was insisting on disturbing his exhausted slumber.**

**Tempest opened the door and stepped inside the darkened room. "Hey Roy...did you forget the early training session this morning?"**

**Roy moaned and finally managed to sit up...a little too quickly as a wave of dizziness washed over him. He moaned again and rubbed his eye's.**

**Tempest raised one eyebrow. "Big night?" he asked**

**"Nuh uh..I went out for a while but I came back early...wanted to catch up on some sleep while Dinah's got Lian for the weekend." he paused and looked at the Atlantian. "So is Dick pissed?" he asked.**

**"He's a little annoyed."**

**Roy chuckled. "C'mon Garth..he's spitting isn't he?"**

**"Well he has had this training session planned all week..."**

**"I know, I know..hell I didn't mean to miss it...Look I'll shower and change and I'll come down and see if I can crawl my way back into his good books again."**

**"When were you ever in his good books?" Garth joked.**

**Roy laughed. "Guess I ain't got nothing to lose then have I?" he joked back, as he threw the blankets off and climbed out of bed.**

**Garth turned to leave, then paused as something caught his eye. "They look pretty nasty...how'd you get them?"**

**Roy glanced down at his legs and noticed a couple of angry purple bruises that stood out clearly below the boxer shorts he was wearing. He shrugged. "Dunno...I get them sometimes..You know what it's like." he said dismissivly as he headed towards the bathroom.**

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**To say Nightwing was annoyed was an understatement, and Roy soon realized that when he finally located his leader, after a lengthy lecture Roy had had enough.**

**"Look I said I was sorry...What more do you want?" he snapped.**

**"You can be a bit more reliable Roy...Dammit, this isn't the first time in the last few weeks that you've slacked off." Nightwing replied firmly.**

**"Yeah well, we can't all be freakin perfect, now can we?" Roy growled back.**

**"I'm not asking for perfection from you Roy..Just a bit of responsibility."**

**"Responsibility?...You know I can be respon..."**

**"Well what the hell is it then Roy? You bored with being a team player? Or do you just have so much ego and confidence that you don't think you need to join in the training sessions? Which is it? Tell me, cause I sure as hell don't understand your behavior lately!" Nightwing snapped, cutting the archer off mid sentence.**

**Roy stared angrily at his team mate, opening his mouth to reply...before snapping "Fuck you Grayson." as he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.**

**Nightwing stared at the doorway through which the angry archer had retreated. After a moment he reached up and ran a hand through his hair, and sighed. He didn't know what had come over his friend ...Whilst Roy often pushed the limits of his leaders patience and tolerance..he rarely crossed the line as completely as he had been doing lately.**

**Dick had begun to watch the red headed marksman closely ..and he had to admit he was becoming uncomfortable he what he was seeing...he didn't want to believe the possibility his observations had opened up, but he was beginning to feel that he definitely needed to investigate further. **

**He had noticed the Archer had been sticking to himself a lot lately, going to bed early and getting up late...even leaving Lian with her nanny a lot more than he used to. A week before they had been involved in a battle with HIVE, and Nightwing had noticed Arsenal had not really pulled his weight in the fight, running alongside the others but not really joining in, when normally he would be the first into the foray...Not only that but every day the redhead looked more exhausted than the previous day..dark rings had begun to appear under his eye's, and Donna had commented that she thought he had lost weight. **

**Something definitely wasn't right with his freind, and given Roy's past history there was one possibility that leaped out at him, a reason for Roy's behavior that he hadn't wanted to consider but knew he had too, he couldn't just sit back and wait to see if his suspicions were right, it could be too late then...No he had to act now, he wasn't going to risk letting his friend down...not again.**

**end 1**


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

**"Are you sure Dick?...We have to be sure, it'd kill him if we take this further and it's not right." Donna said, tears welling in her eye's at what she thought Roy's reaction would be to what was being discussed amongst his four closest friends.**

**"I seen things as well Donna, he's tired, withdrawn, he doesn't eat properly , he shakes sometimes...I saw bruises that he didn't know he even had, not little ones either he would have to be on something not to have noticed getting them." Garth said concerned.**

**Wally, who had been pacing back and forth stopped and said "I noticed he wasn't eating either, we had pizza the other night...he never refuses pizza, yet he didn't touch a piece...Shit if Harper's slipped up again..he's a bigger idiot than I thought he was." he finished angrily.**

**Dick sighed deeply, he hated even talking about Roy like this but he had no choice. "I'm not saying I'm certain...I'm saying it's a possibility, he has quite a few of the symptoms, but they're symptoms that match other things as well. The problem is that we can't take a wait and see approach here, if it is the problem every day that goes by is making things worse." **

**"Maybe we should just explain our reasons for suspecting that's what's wrong, and just ask him..that's the only way we'll find out." Garth said.**

**"C'mon Garth...there's no way he'd just tell us if we asked..he'd just get pissed and tell us where we could get off." Wally replied, still angry at the thought that his archer friend could be making the same mistake again.**

**"Well what do you suggest I do Wally? This isn't going to be easy you know." Dick said.**

**"Look he's gonna be pissed anyway no matter how you ask him..if you really want to be certain your going to have to test him." the speedster replied.**

**"No!..You can't do that...Don't you know how much it would hurt him if you asked him to be tested?...Dick you can't." Donna pleaded as the tears finally spilled over and ran down her cheeks.**

**Dick quickly walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. "Donna..he's going to be upset either way..But wouldn't you rather have him upset than dead?"**

**Donna held him tight, as the tears turned into sobs, and nodded against his shoulder.**

**"Dicks right..We can't just stand by and hope this isn't happening, we have to do something." Wally said.**

**Dick looked at the others. "I'll talk to him tonight...agreed?"**

**"Agreed." Wally and Garth said at the same time.**

**Dick felt Donna nod against his shoulder. "It's going to be ok." he whispered, sounding more confidant than he felt.**

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**Roy lay curled up in bed, it was only 8 pm and normally there was no way he'd be in bed that early, but he was tired and Dinah was bringing Lian back in the morning, so he'd decided to get as much rest as possible. He was always tired lately, tired and achy..he suspected that a busy few weeks was catching up with him. A stabbing pain in his side made him curl up a little more...he rubbed at it briefly, thinking he had pulled a muscle some how. He'd had these aches since their last mission so that was the likely source of the problem. He closed his eye's and tried to ignore the ache.**

**A knock sounded at the door...he sat up and switched the bedside lamp on. "Come in." he called.**

**Dick walked into the room. "Your in bed early." he said as he walked over and sat on the end of Roy's bed.**

**Roy shrugged. "Yeah...Look buddy, I'm sorry about this morning, I really am..I didn't mean to miss training and I sure didn't mean to lose my cool with you." he said, he'd felt bad since the moment he'd walked out on Dick earlier that day, and he knew he'd eventually have to apologize so it might as well be now.**

**"Old news pal.." Dick paused for a moment, he really didn't want to discuss what he had came here to talk to Roy about, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt his friend but he felt there was no other option. He decided to just get straight to the point. "Roy, I don't quite know how to say this..." Dick paused momentarily, noting the beads of sweat that had formed on Roy's brow.."Look, we've all noticed you haven't been yourself lately..."**

**"I know man..I've been a bit beat." Roy said cutting in.**

**"Not just the tiredness Roy...You seem to be a bit withdrawn, your not mixing much with the others any more...you're not eating properly and you aren't keeping up with everyone else when it comes to training ..."**

**"Look I toldja I was sorry about the training session, it won't happen again...I've been tired is all."**

**"I don't care about this mornings session Roy..this is more than tiredness...I want you to let Dr Charles check you over..." Dick said gently.**

**"Hell Dick..I don't need a Doctor, I just need a couple of good nights sleep, we've had a few big cases in the last month it's just knocked me around a bit that's all...Shit I get tired, and I'll admit to getting a few aches and pains after a good fight, but I aint a meta you know, it knocks me around a bit more than the others you should know what that's like." Roy said.**

**"Roy..I want you to see Doctor Charles tomorrow." Dick said firmly.**

**Roy looked at his leader, he wasn't sure why Dick seemed to be pulling rank here, but he sure as heck wasn't going to force him into doing anything he didn't want to. "No."**

**"Roy please."**

**"No Dick, I told you I'm just tired, your gonna just have to take my word that that's all it is."**

**"I can't do that Roy..I didn't want to have to ask you to do this, but if you won't see Doctor Charles I haven't got a choice." Dick said as he pulled out a small lab bottle and placed it on the bed near the archer, his stomach tightening at the thought of upsetting his friend. "I need you to give me a sample."**

**Roy stared at the bottle for a moment, before realization hit, he looked at Dick his eye's showing hurt at first, then fury." You want me to pee in a fuckin jar?...Your doing a drug test?...You've got to be frigin kidding me." he snarled angrily.**

**"Roy we're all worried about you..."**

**"Worried my ass...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM GRAYSON." Roy yelled, picking at the bottle and throwing it across the room, smashing it against the wall.**

**Dick stood and turned to leave, he couldn't look at his friends face as he said, "You don't know how hard this is Roy...but until you agree to be tested your off the active roster."**

**Roy watched his friend leave, barely able to believe what had just happened...He lay back on the bed feeling faint and dizzy..surely they didn't think he was stupid enough to slip back into drug use? He sighed deeply, his body trembling slightly with shock, obviously they had,. "All this because of a missed training session?..Where the hell do you get off Grayson." he murmured to himself as he rolled over and curled up to try and sleep.**

**end 2**


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

**Roy woke in the middle of the night, his clothes soaked with sweat. Cursing he sat up, sitting still for a moment to wait for the inevitable bout if dizziness to pass before heading towards the shower.**

**He thought over the conversation he had with Dick the night before, he was angry at first, but he was beginning to realize that it would have been difficult for Dick to even broach such a sensitive subject with him. There was no way Dick would ask such a thing unless he held grave concerns for Roy's heath, and despite his protests Roy had a feeling Dick had a point, maybe there was something wrong...maybe it was more than being tired. **

**As if to confirm his thoughts Roy was suddenly doubled over by a pain in his stomach, he groaned and gritted his teeth until the wave of pain faded, leaving only the dull ache that he had been plagued with in recent days. He waited a moment before standing up and pulling off his sweat soaked clothes and turning towards the shower, pausing briefly to look into the large bathroom mirror. He frowned as he gently ran his hand over a couple of angry looking bruises that had appeared on his ribs, wondering where he could have gotten them before stepping moving away and turning on the shower.**

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**Donna, tossed and turned, she was still upset about the events that had unfolded the previous evening, she knew Dick's conversation with Roy hadn't gone any better than they had expected. She had wanted to go to Roy, to talk to him and explain their concerns, but Dick had suggested she leave the archer to cool down. And Donna had agreed to leave it until morning, trying to talk to Roy while he was angry seldom did any good, but the words that remained unsaid played on her mind, refusing to let sleep come. Sighing she hopped out of bed and pulled on a gown and headed towards the kitchen, a warm drink might be just what she needed to unwind with.**

**On entering the kitchen she was surprised to see Roy sitting there, he had his arms folded on top of the table and his head laying on them, he appeared to be asleep. As she approached he sat up, looking at her and attempting his trademark cocky grin..which faulted as he took in her concerned expression.**

**"So..do you think I'm shooting up again as well?" he asked quietly.**

**Donna was surprised when there appeared to be no anger in his voice at all..he just sounded tired. "I don't know what to think...I don't want to believe that, and I'm sorry we even had to ask it Roy." she pulled out the chair next to him and sat down, looking at his face carefully, and suddenly realizing just how pale and worn out he was looking. "Oh Roy..Dick didn't want to upset you, none of us did..He's not saying that's what's wrong, actually he said there could be a number of reasons, but that was one of them and if there was the slightest possibility that some sort of relapse could be the problem, there's no way we could just wait and see...no way we could let you down by not picking the signs up early just because we were afraid of mentioning it..please understand." by the time she had finished speaking tears had formed in her eye's.**

**"I do understand...Well at first I didn't, and I sure as hell wanted to kick Dick's ass, but once I'd calmed down and thought things through I realized why he had to ask...He's right about some things though.." he paused for a moment, then on noticing the shocked, wide eyed look that had come over Donna's face quickly added, "Not about the drugs..I ain't ever going back there, I can promise you that..But he's right when he said that something not right, I've been ignoring it to long. I think something is wrong with me...I haven't been feeling well lately."**

**"You're sick?...Do you have a fever?" Donna reached out and lay her hand against his cheek. "You do have one..Roy why didn't you tell us? We're your family..why didn't you mention something? This has ben going on for a couple of weeks hasn't it? We could..."**

**"Donna I didn't really think too much about it, I've just been blaming it on feeling a bit run down..It wasn't until Dick spoke to me that I really thought about it and realized that there might be more to it..I'm tired all the time and I've started getting aches and pains in my side...I don't know what it is, but something's wrong." for the first time Roy allowed himself to feel concerned about his condition, he couldn't shrug this off any longer.**

**"I'm calling Dick." Donna said as she rose from her chair.**

**"You don't need to call him..."**

**"I'm calling him Roy..He needs to know about this, and he needs to know your not still upset with him, he hated having to ask you to take that test Roy..you know that don't you."**

**"Yeah, I know." Roy said quietly.**

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**Within a couple of hours Roy found himself laying on a bed in the Titans infirmary as a Doctor, Dick had managed to rustle out of a nights sleep, examined him.**

**The Doctor listened carefully to Roy's symptoms and after inspecting the bruising, he began to palpate Roy's side and abdomen. "Your spleen is enlarged...That hurts?" he asked noting the archer wincing.**

**Roy nodded. "You have any idea what it is?"**

**"There are a few possible causes...I'm going to draw some blood for testing, once we get those results back we'll have a better idea what we're dealing with..Meanwhile I want you to just take things easy. I'll call as soon as we get the results back." The Doctor replied as he began to draw the blood.**

**"Do you think it's something serious?" Roy asked.**

**The Doctor had an idea what they were dealing with here, and it wasn't good..but he wasn't about to worry Roy too much until he was more certain.."As I said, it could be a couple of different things, some of them are easily treatable, but there's not much point in discussing guesses. We're best to wait until we get the test results back." he said, relieved when the young man nodded and asked no further question.**

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**Roy was left with a sense of unease after the Doctor had left...He didn't want to think there was something seriously wrong, but his gut instinct told him to expect bad news. To take his mind of things he grabbed his bow and headed out to shoot some targets.**

**An hour and a half later Dick found him sitting, watching the ocean. "Hey."**

**"Hey yourself." Roy replied, not turning to look at his friend.**

**Dick stood quietly beside him staring into the distance for a moment.**

**"Doc called didn't he?" Roy said, breaking the silence.**

**"Yeah."**

**"Well?"**

**"Doctor wants to see you, your going to have to go into hospital for some more tests."**

**Roy stood quietly for a moment. "He tell you what it is?"**

**"No..he wanted to talk to you in private. He's expecting you within the hour."**

**"You know what it is don't you?"**

**"I'm not a Doctor Roy."**

**"Yeah, but I know you short pants, you've already been on that computer running through all the possibles...I'm not stupid...Look just tell me what you came up with."**

**"There are a couple of things... I'm not even going to try to guess which one is right... just let the Doctor tell you what he's found... You want one of us to go with you?"**

**"Nah I'm a big boy." Roy replied as he picked up the bow and quiver that sat beside him and started back towards the tower, whatever lay ahead of him he would deal with it. After all he'd found his way out of some pretty tough situations in his life.**

**end 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

**"Leukemia..are they sure?" Wally asked shocked.**

**"Of course they're sure Wally. Look Roy's going to be back here this morning, I've asked Dinah to keep Lian for the rest of the week, it's best we let Roy absorb the news without worrying about other things for a while." Dick said.**

**"How...How did this happen Dick, why Roy?" Donna asked wiping tears away and leaning against Garth as he placed a comforting arm around her shoulder.**

**"We'll never know why it happened to Roy, Donna...But I do know it's caused by a genetic change in one of the white blood cells in the bone marrow...the cell turns malignant and reproduces until it overwhelms the healthy cells, normally our white cell count is around five to ten thousand per cubic millimeter, Roy's is way above three hundred thousand...The cancerous cells then start to attack some of the body's organs...ones that produce blood..."**

**"That's what caused the bruises I saw?" Garth asked.**

**Dick nodded. "Without medical intervention death can occur fairly quickly."**

**"So what are they doing about it? When will he start treatment?" Wally asked.**

**"They've already started on a course of chemotherapy, he'll have to take a pill each day until he completes the course...The thing you guys need to know is that the treatment isn't going to cure the disease." Dick said softly, running a hand through his hair before continuing. "This disease is eventually fatal with standard cancer treatments, the abnormal cells are tough, the treatment doesn't get them all, and when the ones that survive reproduce they're immune to further chemical treatment...all it'll do is buy him time."**

**There was silence in the room as the other three heroes turned to face their leader, shocked looks on their faces.**

**"I thought they could cure this...I've heard of people being cured before..." Garth started, stopping as Dick cut in.**

**"As I said it's eventually fatal with standard treatments, there is one chance though, and that's a bone marrow transplant following a combination of high dose chemotherapy and radiation to kill off all the cancerous cells. The problem is that the odds of finding a compatible donor aren't terribly high and it can be a long wait to find a match..it's higher amongst family members...but I know Lian's blood type is different to Roy's, he found that out a while back."**

**"What can we do? There has to be something we can do to help?...What about his Mother, Roy's never mentioned her...but maybe he has other brothers and sisters out there he doesn't even know about..What if she was still alive?...I mean no one ever said she was dead that I know of." Wally said as he nervously began to pace back and forth.**

**"Roy said he never knew her...he was never told anything about her..it could be a possibility Dick." Donna said anxiously.**

**"A possibility I already have a couple of associates looking into...If she's still alive I intend to find her. Mean while I suggest you guy's ask as many of your humanfriends and family as possible to be tested and placed on the national registry for donors. That's the best we can do for now...that and be there for Roy when he needs us." Dick said as he moved to leave..he still had three other team members to talk to about this, but he had wanted to speak to Wally, Garth and Donna first, they were as close to Roy as family, and it had made him feel sick to the stomach at having to break this news to them.**

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**Roy lay on his back, his hands tucked under his head, staring at the ceiling as his mind went over and over the events of the last couple of days. He didn't know what he felt at the moment...he'd had a million thoughts and feelings surging through his mind and body, but he had become emotionally drained and now all he felt was a sense of dread, and emptiness. When he had first found out he had felt a wave of fear..not of the disease, but of the possibility that he would be leaving Lian alone..it was a fear he'd always harbored that it seemed he was now going to have to face.**

**There was a gentle knock on the door, and without waiting for Roy to respond, it opened and Donna walked in.**

**"I didn't wake you, did I?" she asked softly.**

**"Nah..just laying here thinking."**

**Donna quickly crossed the room and sat beside him. "Do you want to talk about it?"**

**Roy shook his head. "Not yet." he said quietly.**

**Donna nodded and lay down beside him as Roy moved one hand from behind his head and wrapped his arm around her drawing her closer, she lay her head on his chest listening to his heart beat, drawing comfort from the closeness. "When your ready, I'll be listening." she murmured.**

**Roy nodded. "I know." he said as he gave her a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "Maybe in a couple of days..Just need a bit of time to get my head straight." he replied softly. He felt her nod against his chest, grateful for the support she offered him.**

**They lay like that until his breathing became deeper and he drifted off to sleep. Only then did Donna allow a couple of tears to escape and roll down her face and soak into his shirt.**

**end 4**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

**"Uncle wing!"Lian cried happily as she stood up on her chair and launched herself intoNightwing's arms.**

**"Hey squirt!" Dick replied affectionately giving the little girl a hug.**

**"Hey!...You're here early..your day off?" Donna asked as she flipped the pancake she was cooking for Lian. She, Lian and Garth were in the kitchen of the tower preparing breakfast, usually Dick wasn't in the tower this early, not unless he had a day off from his day job on the Bludhaven Police force.**

**Dick nodded his reply as he ruffled Lian's dark hair, smiling as he pressed his nose against hers.**

**"And you've chosen to spend it with us?...We're truly honored." Garth joked.**

**"So you should be." Dick said lightly. "How come you're still here? I thought you were going home for the weekend?"**

**"I will be soon, I promised Lian I'd stay until breakfast was finished." Garth replied.**

**"Hey hey...the gangs all here." Wally's voice echoed behind them as he entered the room, he paused for a moment before adding, "Well almost all here anyway."**

**"Daddy's still sleeping." Lian said a slightly disappointed tone to her voice.**

**"Not for much longer he won't be." Wally replied.**

**"Wally West don't you...Ooo I hate it when he does that." Donna grumbled, realizing Wally had disappeared before she had finished her sentence.**

**Wally had already reappeared in the center of Roy's room. He stood for a moment watching the Archer sleep..In the month since Roy's diagnosis the marksman had rarely complained, despite the fact that Wally knew his friend was almost constantly tired and feeling unwell. It amazed him that Roy, who had always been the first to complain endlessly about something as simple as a common cold, barely commented when confronted by the life threatening illness he now faced. The Archer seemed determined to be treated the same as he always had been, and Wally respected that, in fact he was determined to help keep things as normal as possible for his friend.**

**That thought in mind the speedster approached the bed..This mission needed to be conducted stealthily, without super speed, as he reached the side of the bed he readied himself...then sprang into the air, landing on the bed, bouncing his sleeping friend high into the air."WAKE UP HARPER!." he yelled.**

**The look of surprise on Roy's face was priceless..but he recovered quickly and launched himself forward attempting to grab one of Wally's legs, already knowing he had no hope of doing so. "Your a pain in the ass West." He joked, flopping back on the bed and chuckling to himself when he realized the speedster was no longer in the room.**

**Twenty minutes later he walked into the kitchen.**

**"Daddy!" Lian cried.**

**"Princess!" Roy called happily back to her as he walked past Wally and attempted to slap him on the back of the head.**

**Roy took a seat at the table with the others, and Lian jumped down from the chair she was now sitting in and ran over and scrambled up into his lap.**

**"Breakfast?" Donna asked as she began to put pancakes onto a plate.**

**"I'm n..."Roy began.**

**"If you say your not hungry I'll hit you with this!" Donna said as she held up a spoon that was covered in pancake batter.**

**"Ok I'll have some breakfast then,thanks." Roy said, smiling. "Hey Dick, how come your here so early?"**

**"What?...Aren't I aloud to be here before midday if I want?" Dick replied jokingly. "Actually I'm here to see you."**

**"Me?..What'd I do?"**

**"Nothing...this time..I have a name for you." Dick flicked a business card towards Roy who snatched it out of the air, he looked at it in silence for a moment before commenting, "Another Doctor?..I already have a good one."**

**"I'm not saying your Doctors not good. But this guy's the best..he's the top expert in the field."**

**Roy sat silently for a moment. "Nah..the one I've got's okay..thanks any way Dude." he finally said.**

**"Roy, if Dick say's this guy is the best, what harm is it going to do to see him?" Garth reasoned.**

**"Just talk to him Roy..Dick wouldn't be telling you this unless he was certain it was the right thing to do." Donna said as she placed the plate of pancake's in front of the archer.**

**"Look, I know you mean well, but really I'm happy with the one of got, besides, if I go to this guy he'll probably want to run more tests and I'm sick to death of being poked and prodded."**

**"You're such a whimp arrowbreath." Wally said.**

**"Am not."**

**"Are too."**

**"Ok children that's enough of that...Roy I've done a bit of research into this guy...he's good, just think about it will you?" Dick asked.**

**Roy sighed, looking at the faces around him that anxiously awaiting his reply, he knew he'd never hear the end of it if he didn't agree. "All right I'll see him...And I'm not a whimp." he said flicking a piece of pancake at Wally.**

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** Four Months Later**

**Nightwing leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eye's, he had finished his patrol of Bludhaven a little earlier than usual so that he could return to the Tower to follow up on some information he had been looking into.**

**Roy had agreed to be treated by the doctor Dick had recommended, one of the best Oncologists in the field. The Oncologist, a Doctor Stan Marsden, had taken Roy off chemotherapy treatment, and placed him on another medication that was designed to hold off the acute phase of the disease, the medication had brought Roy's blood cell count back into some sort of balance, and had reduced most of the symptoms that he had been suffering, though the medication itself left the Archer feeling like he was getting the flu after each dose..The worst thing for Roy though was the fact that he was required to inject himself with the drug on a daily basis, something Dick knew Roy detested but had little choice about.**

**The thing that had Dick most concerned was the fact that the longer Roy was on the drug, the more chance that it may possibly reduce the chance of a bone marrow transplant being successful. And at any time the medication could cease to work and Roy's condition could deteriorate..It was a waiting game..waiting for things to go bad, waiting to hear wether a donor would become available in time...this was a game they had been forced to play, no one knew what the outcome would be and their opponent was more formidable than many of the opponents Roy had faced as Arsenal. **

**All efforts to locate Roy's mother had failed, apparently Roy's father was a quiet man who didn't discuss his life much with those around him, he kept to himself most of the time, something Dick had found slightly amazing considering how outgoing Roy could be. Until now they had not been able to locate a suitable bone marrow donor on the registry, despite having Roy's name on the registries in other countries as well..But Dick had discovered there had been one suitable donor that was recently removed from the list. That was what had brought him here tonight, although donors names are not revealed, Dick, with the help of Oracle and a great deal of calling in favours had managed to obtain that name...and the reason why the man..a British citizen..was no longer on the list.**

**"I thought you went home hours ago?"**

**Dick turned away from the computer screen he was looking at to face Garth "I did, I've come back to organize a few things."**

**Garth pulled over a chair and sat down, raising an eyebrow questioningly.**

**"I have to go away for a little while." Dick said.**

**"Away? On a case?"**

**"Kind of..I'm going to have to leave you in charge."**

**"Me?...Why me?"**

**"Why not you?"**

**Garth didn't answer, reading what was on the screen in front of him..."That's where you're going?...Isn't it pretty unstable over there at the moment?"**

**"It is..It's a political mine field actually, thats one of the reasons I can't take any of you guy's with me."**

**"What's this about Dick?..Surely you can bring one or two of us in on this. If you have to go it'll be safer if you don't go alone." Garth said concerned.**

**"I'm not going alone, I'm taking someone with me that's an expert in this sort of work...A good friend of Roy's actually...Martin Santos."**

**"Isn't he a Checkmate agent?..And what can be so important that you would be willing to go into that mess?" Garth asked, nodding at the screen to indicate the country pictured there.**

**"He was a Checkmate agent..Look Garth I'm doing this for Roy. They had a potential donor but the guy is a journalist who ended up being in the right place at the wrong time...he got caught up in that mess and he's being held over there. The British government won't touch it at the moment, it's too much of a political hot potato. I can't risk bringing any of you guys into this, if it goes bad its going to cause hell politically. That's way I've called Santos in on this, this sort of thing is right up his alley."**

**"Dick...I don't know..I'm not liking the sound of this. Maybe we should talk to the others?..Maybe you should just wait, another donor match may come up soon."**

**"This stay's between you and me, there's no way Roy would agree to this and I don't want him worrying about it. And as for waiting for another match, that may never happen..We might not have time to wait, things could change for Roy at anytime...I have to do this."**

**"There's no other way?" Garth asked quietly.**

**Dick stood up, preparing to leave."If there was I'd have found it...Roy would do this for me if the roles were reversed."**

**Garth nodded thoughtfully."Just be careful." he said, knowing the comment was unnecessary.**

**"Look after the team." Dick said, reaching out to give Garths shoulder a squeeze before turning on his heel and leaving.**

**end 5**


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6**

**The two men lay hidden on the edge of the jungle watching the guards milling around the checkpoint that blocked the entrance to the bridge below. The bridge spanned a river that lay between the two dark haired observers and their destination..the boarder of the country on the other side.**

**After watching for quite some time, the taller of the two men motioned to the other that they should retreat further back into the saftey of the trees behind them.**

**Once they were well back within the jungle they found a spot to sit and talk without fear of being spotted.**

**"Ok Martin, there's no way we can make it across there...what's our next move?" Dick Grayson asked.**

**Martin Santos smiled. The tall dark haired ex Checkmate agent had faced this kind of situation more than once before. "Now we wait...We'll move at dusk and find a shallower spot in the river were we can cross, it's too risky to cross during the day, so night time will be our best bet." he said.**

**Dick nodded there was no other way of moving on.. he knew that. They'd looked at all other possibilities of getting into the country but there was simply no other option. Their current plan was to sneak across the boarder and into the jungle on the other side, then they would follow the river upstream to a road that would lead them to the compound were the man they had come to rescue was being held. It sounded simple in theory, but the journey would take almost a week through dense jungle in almost unbearable heat and humidity...and then there was a danger of being captured by members of the extremist guerrilla army that had pockets of men scattered throughout the journey ahead.**

**Dick leaned back against the tree behind him, watching as the moustached man in front of him lay back against his back pack and settled down to rest for the afternoon.**

**Martin looked towards Dick "How's he dealing with all this?" he asked.**

**Knowing the other man was referring to their mutual friend Dick replied. "In all honesty I don't know. Physically he's doing okay at the moment...he gets tired, and I know that's pretty damned frustrating for him, but he doesn't say too much about it..He'll talk to me about his treatment if I ask outright, but other than that..well who knows? He hasn't talked about how he's coping emotionally, we've all tried to get him to open up...but...well you know Roy."**

**Martin smiled wryly,"Yeah I know Roy. Emotional revelation huh?..Not something he's ever mastered I'm afraid, he could have made his life a hell of a lot easier if he had...I mean we've been through some tough shit together in Checkmate...I could always talk to him about it, tell him how it affected me..he'd listen...but he'd never really talk about what he was feeling. In fact if I know Roy as well as I think I do I'd bet he wouldn't have gotten half that shit off his chest, he'll carry it with him till the day he dies..." the last word trailed off as Martin realized the irony of the expression.**

**Dick instantly noticed the other mans discomfort. "This might be the only chance he has, and I'll be damned if I'm going to fail him on this...We're going to get this guy and get him out safely...there is no other option..We have to pull this off." Dick sighed deeply, he didn't want to think about the obstacles that may be ahead of them, he didn't want to think about the fact that they could go through all this and the transplant may fail..he couldn't think about those things, they simply weren't options he was willing to concede.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Roy sat quietly in the dark, watching Lian sleep. The action usually brought him some comfort andhelped him to relax, but tonight the worries that had woken him refused to allow him any respite, not even now as he reached out and gently stroked the little girls silky dark hair. He hadn't told her what was happening to him, she knew he was sick but she was too young to understand how sick. How would he prepare her for what may happen? How could he make her understand that he never wanted to leave her?..How could he continue to face the fact that there was every likelihood that his precious little girl would grow up without him to guide and protect her?..Every night now nightmares woke him, vivid nightmares of Lian screaming, reaching up to him, terror in her eyes that only he could calm, but he never reached back, never took her hand or comforted her or told her how much he loved her, instead she was left alone and terrified as he was jolted awake by the pounding of his heart before ever seeing and end to the nightmare.**

**Sighing, he stood up and quietly left the room. As tired as he was, he knew sleep was out of the question for the time being his active mind forbade it. Resorting to a tried and tested method of distracting himself from his worries, he headed for the gym. He had stuck as closely to his exercise routine as he could, the fact that he was as fit as he was, was a good thing his Doctor had said, exercise could only help keep his immune system healthy. He couldn't always stick rigidly to the routine, sometimes he was too tired and he had to slow down, if he didn't he paid for it afterwards.**

**He headed for the treadmill and started walking on the machine at a gradual pace to warm up, slowly increasing it until he was pounding at a steady pace. As always he felt a kind of exhilaration as he reached aspeed that made his body work as hard as it could, he knew he wouldn't be able to keepit up for long, but the feeling helped mask the anxiety and uncertainty that plagued him, he continued to run, feeling his lungs begin to burn as his breath became gasps. He knew he should be slowing down but he needed to push himself, prove to himself that he was stronger that the disease that threatened him, his steps began to become unsteady, and he closed his eye's briefly willing himself to continue.**

**A hand reached out and hit the cool down button on the machine, instantly slowing the machine down to a more manageable pace. Roy's eye's flicked open and he glared at the Scarlet clad speedster that had appeared beside him as the machine continued to gradually slow, he would have defiantly turned it back on again if he hadn't already reached his limit. When it finally came to a complete stop Roy staggered off, shaking off the hand that reached out to steady him and heading to wards the shower room, Wally walked beside him for a moment, and realizing the Archer wasn't going to say anything he spoke up.**

**"So you gonna tell me what the hell that was about?" he asked.**

**"Nuh." Roy gasped in response as he breathed heavily trying to catch his breath.**

**"Roy?"**

**"Just leave me alone Wally!"**

**"I can't do that buddy..."**

**"What?...Wally what the hell do you want me to say?...That life sucks?..That I'm pissed off cause it keeps shoveling shit on me?..."**

**"If that's what your feeling then that's what we want you to say...Your allowed to feel pissed Roy, shit I feel pissed for you."**

**Roy stopped walking and flopped into one of the chairs that were lined up along the wall in the gym. "Don't Wally...please I don't wanna do this.."**

**"Do what Roy?.. Talk about things? Or let us help you?"**

**Roy leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knee and his head in his hands. He didn't want to do this, not with Wally..yeah they were friends, good friends...but they hadn't always seen eye to eye, Roy could feel emotions surging through him that threatened release, the last thing he wanted was to lose control of those feelings in front of the speedster. "Please Wal just leave me be." he said, his voice on the verge of breaking.**

**Sensing his friends distress and the discomfort he felt, Wally reached out a hand to squeeze his shoulder, offering unspoken reassurance before disappearing in a red blur of motion.**

**Roy sighed, thankful that his friend had understood and not continued to press him, he had kept these feelings inside for all these months, he hadn't wanted to talk about them, somehow it seemed worse if he tried to..if he talked about them he had to acknowledge them then he couldn't just keep pushing them away..the anger, the fear and uncertainty...**

**A sudden movement beside him interrupted his thoughts, he glanced up to see Donna approaching him, frowning he sat back in the chair. "Wally?"**

**"He was worried..."**

**"There's nothing to worry about...Hell I asked him to leave me alone damn it!" Roy snapped.**

**Donna sat in the chair beside him and reached out to put an arm across his shoulders, disappointed to feel him flinch and tense under her touch. "Honey, we can't leave you alone when your hurting, we're your family we love you." she said softly.**

**"I'm not hurting...I don't need talk about things...Donna please, just drop it okay?" Roy pleaded, shaking off her arm and standing up.**

**"Roy, don't push us away..."**

**"Leave it okay!." the Archer snapped as he spun around and headed into the showers.**

**Donna stared after him, resisting the temptation to follow, knowing that would only make things worse. She felt helpless at the thought that there was nothing she could do until he was willing to let her..until he remembered he wasn't alone, when that time came they would be there for him, she just needed him to understand that.**

**end 6**


	7. Chapter 7

**Part 7**

**Dick slapped at the sudden sting on the side of his face...looking at his hand he frowned at the crushed blood engorged insect on his palm before wiping it off on his pants. They'd been traveling through the jungle for four days now, and both men were covered in insect bites, the insect repellant they had brought with them only seem to attract the creatures not chase them.**

**They continued to walk neither man saying anything, they had taked about everything they could possibly talk about in the first couple of day's of their journey... and now they were content to travel in silence**.

**After a while however, a sound whispered on the breeze "I hear a noise." Dick said. Both men stopped dead still, listening intently to the faint rumbling sound that echoed in the distance. The noise seemed to grow louder, before slowly fading away again.**

**"A truck...the road can't be far ahead." Martin said.**

**"How far do you estimate..I'm guessingless then half a mile." Dick said as he wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand, then scratched the spot where the insect had bitten him.**

**"Sounds about right...We'll have to be extra careful from here on in..C'mon if we move quickly we can reach the road before dark." the taller man said as he set off in the direction of the sound.**

**Dick followed, both men moving swiftly, knowing dusk was fast approaching and the light would fade quickly. They had crossed the river at night, but walking in the jungle was best done during day light hours, it was treacherous at night and without using flash lights to light the way they had no choice but to confine their travel to the day time.**

**Sometime later the road opened up and the road became visible...Keeping to the edge of the jungle the men turned and followed the road towards their destination until the light faded and they had to stop for the night.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Roy was awoken by an eerie feeling that he was being watched. Opening his eye's he looked up into the concerned brown eye's of his daughter as she stared intensely at his face.**

**"Hey Princess!" Roy said sleepily.**

**The concerned look was quickly replaced by a beaming smile that lit up the little girls face. "Daddy, you waked up!"**

**"I sure did Etai Yazi." Roy replied, stretching slightly "What time is it he murmured as he reached towards the alarm clock on the bed side table.**

**"10.15" a gentle voice called from the door way.**

**"What!" Roy sat up and confirmed the time on the clock, before looking at Dinah who stood leaning against the doorjamb watching him. "Shit.."**

**"Daddy that's a bad word!" Lian scolded.**

**"Uhh..Sorry sweetheart...Why didn't someone wake me?" Roy asked flustered.**

**"Were they supposed to?...You have a date you had to meet for breakfast or something?" Dinah asked lightly as she crossed the room and sat on the edge of Roy's bed.**

**"No.."**

**"Well what's the problem then?"**

**"It's late!"**

**"And that's bad because?"**

**Roy stopped for a moment thinking carefully.."Lian's been up for hours." he finally said.**

**"Aunty Donna cooked waffles for breakfast and Uncle Garth taked me swimming." Lian said.**

**"Sounds like you've had a busy morning." Roy replied, giving the little girl a hug.**

**"Sounds like you had a busy night." Dinah said pointedly.**

**Roy paused realizing why Dinah was here. "Sounds like nobody around this place knows how to keep things to themselves." he snapped.**

**Lian looked up into his face. "Are you angry Daddy?" she asked concerned.**

**"Uh...No...Well not really." he stammered.**

**"Lian honey, would you go and spend some time with Aunty Donna while Daddy and I talk for a little while?" Dinah asked.**

**"Is this a adult conversation?" Lian asked seriously.**

**"Yes honey...I guess it is...I'll come and get you when I've finished talking with Daddy and we'll go out to the park for a while okay?"**

**"Yaaay." the little girl cheered as she wriggled off the bed and ran out the door.**

**Roy stared at Dinah suspiciously for a minute before sighing loudly and flopping down and pulling the blankets over his head.**

**Dinah couldn't help but laugh. "Stop being such a drama queen." she said.**

**Roy peeled the blankets back from his face farenough to raise one eyebrow questioningly at the comment.**

**"Get out from under there!" Dinah said as she pulled at the blankets. "If your going to be worrying your friend by keeping things locked up inside you...You can at least be man enough to face me."**

**Roy gave up and dropped the blankets before sitting up and leaning against the headboard. "Okay..I give up lets just get this over and done with...What do you want." he asked resigning to the fact that of all people, he couldn't escape Dinah...she was the one person in his life that wouldn't allow him to push her away.**

**"What was with the thing in the gym last night?" she asked**

**Roy shrugged. "Couldn't sleep" he mumbled.**

**"Why?"**

**Roy glanced briefly at her face and quickly glanced away, not wanting her to read what was in his expression. "I just couldn't..it happens sometimes."**

**"Roy..I know it's got to be tough on you..the way your life has had to change while your dealing with this..."**

**"It's not that Dinah..Yeah I get frustrated that I'm always's tired, and I get pissed that the others go on missions and I'm left behind on monitor duty..that stuff sucks but I can deal with it." He pause for a moment."I have these dreams...they wake me up and it's hard to go back to sleep."**

**"You want to tell me about them?"**

**"Not really."**

**"Okay...I won't push...But Boyo I know you, your not as tough as you want others to think...Your human and if you aren't harboring some pretty deep and scary emotions at the moment there would be something wrong." She paused reaching out the brush a fiery red lock of hair out of his eye's. "It's okay to be scared you know...I would be if I was facing what you're facing."**

**"I'm not scared for me." he whispered, feeling like and insecure sixteen year old again as he fidgeted under her concerned gaze.**

**There was silence for a moment.**

**"For Lian?" Dinah finally asked.**

**Roy nodded. "I know what it's like to grow up without a father...I know what it's like to be alone and scared...I don't want to leave her." he said, his voice trailing off sadly.**

**"She'll never be alone Roy, I won't let that happen...Donna, Dick, Garth and Wally won't allow it either...You wouldn't be the terrific father you are if you weren't frightened of leaving her."**

**Roy sighed. "I look at her and I just want to grab her and run..pretend this isn't happening..Oh god Dinah I have no idea how to prepare her for this, I don't even know if I should prepare her. When I think about this thing I don't think about what it's doing to me, I think about what it will do to her, what it'll mean for her future...all the things I'll miss seeing..." his voice trailed off and he sat quietly for a moment as Dinah moved to sit beside him, pulling him into her arms to offer comfort. He allowed his head to rest on her shoulder. "I want to be there for her..I want to be the one that protects her.." He said desperately, his voice breaking with emotion.**

**He blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. "I hate this." he whispered, leaning into the comforting embrace of the woman who was the closest thing he had ever had to a mother.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**The soft snap of twigs breaking under foot caused Dick to wake. A bright light suddenly shone into his eye's blinding him, he blinked rapidly trying to clear his vision as a strong hand grabbed his arm roughly.**

**Still blinded by the light he exploded into action, jamming his elbow back into the stomach of the person standing behind him, then spinning around to kick the flashlight that blinded him out of the hand of the man in front off him, following through with a punch that sent the light bearer flying.**

**Whirling around he crouched, readying himself for further attack...Suddenly realizing the situation he froze..surrounded by more than a dozen armed men. He looked over to where two of the men had Martin face down on the ground, a third held a gun to Santos's head.**

**Dick could see no other way out, he straightened up and raised both hands into the air indicating his surrender..Four men rushed forth, one jerked Dicks arms roughly behind his back and tied his hands tightly...before shoving him forward so that he fell onto his knees.**

**Anotherof the men stepped forward, grabbing Dick by the hair, he pulled his head back and pushed a large knife against his throat. The man began to shout at the young hero, Dick remained silent andthe man, angered by the lack of response, pushed the knife harder against Dicks throat. "Who..you?" he asked in broken English...before repeating the question in Spanish.**

**Dick remained silent, remembering the discussion he had had with Martin before they had left home. Whatever happened they had to keep silent...no one must know they were American citizens.**

**The man shouted again, Dick recognized the words this time they were spoken in French "Who..you?..What here for." Clearly irritated by Dick's continued silence, the man stepped back, removing the knife and indicating to the man beside him. A riffle butt slammed into Dicks head, light and pain exploded in his skull..Then darkness claimed him.**

**end 7**


	8. Chapter 8

**Part 8**

**Dick groaned softly as he slowly became aware of his surroundings, opening his eye's he realized he was still in the same spot he had been in when he had been knocked unconscious. The sound of voices and laughter drew his attention to a group of men to one side of him, his attackers were sitting in a group some distance away, obviously enjoying a joke at his expense. A soft moan caused him to roll over and look towards the other side, Martin had obviously endured the same treatment Dick had, and Dick could clearly see bruising appearing on one side of his companions face as the taller man began to wake.**

**"You okay?" Dick whispered.**

**Martin nodded. "Bastards!" he growled quietly.**

**"Any suggestions?" Dick asked softly as he rolled back towards his captives so they wouldn't see his efforts to release his hands from the ropes that bound them tightly.**

**"Not yet...We're too out numbered to attempt anything just yet." Martin replied.**

**Dick sighed ragidly, his friend was right..any attempt at escape would be certain death. He gave up on trying to free his hands, the ropes had been bound too tightly for him to find any slackness there. He moved his fingers, clenching and unclenching his hands in an attempt to ease some of the burning numbness in them. He blinked and shook his head, trying to chase the persistent flying insects that had been attracted to the sticky blood that had congealed on his face from the head wound caused by the rifle butt. "Any idea on what their likely to do with us?" he asked. Knowing he wouldn't like the answer.**

**"They're probably going to try damn hard to find out where we're from, they'll be thinking we're going to make good leverage as a bargaining tool to get money or arms or whatever the hell they want."**

**"Ransom?"**

**"Yeah...once they figure out what nationality we a..." Martin stopped speaking as the group of men began to move, rising and readying themselves to move on.**

**Three of the group approached the two young men.**

**"Remember to keep your mouth shut Robbie." Martin quickly whispered a warning, using the name Dick had given him when they first met...he was pretty sure that wasn't his friends real name, but understood his need for secrecy.**

**One of their Captors began to shout at them, frustrated with the confused looks his prisoners gave him, he turned instead and spoke authoritatively to the two armed men beside him..They then stepped forward and pulled Dick and Martin to their feet, shoving them forward to indicate they should begin to walk.**

**Dick stumbledand caught himself before falling, then whole group set off towards the road.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Roy lay back on the sand, smiling to himself as he watched Lian digging a moat around the sandcastle she had just painstakingly built. They had come to the small sanded cove on Titans island to unwind, and the warm sun on his skin was certainly making Roy relax. **

**"You look like your enjoying yourself." Donna's voice drifted from behind him.**

**"Hey." Roy said in greeting as she sat down next to him.**

**"Hey yourself..I haven't seen you two all morning."**

**"We came down here early...I promised her yesterday." Roy said as he placed his hands behind his head, and closed his eyes, allowing the warmth of the sunshine and the relaxing sound of the harbor to wash over him..Knowing he could relax now that Donna's watchful eye's were on Lian.**

**"Tired?" she needn't have asked, she knew that he was.**

**"Mmm...always." he smiled again as he felt Donna softly stroke his brow.**

**Donna gently ran her fingers through his hair, smiling back as he pushed his head softly into her touch, his breathing beginning to deepen."I'll watch her." she said.**

**"Thanks." he said softly as he drifted off.**

**Donna watched him as he slept, he looked peaceful, relaxed. He hadn't always look that way lately, the worries that had plagued him made him tense, and until the last couple of days he had started to become irritable. She had tried to get close to him but he had until recently pushed her away. Before all this had happened, before this illness had devastated his life, they had actually started to make some headway in their relationship...That had all disappeared the week he was diagnosed. She had understood that he needed space to adjust, but it had still hurt that he know longer seemed to want their relationship to be more than the close friendship they had always had.**

**Whatever he had discussed with Dinah a few days ago had made a remarkable difference in his emotional state. He had actually been able to talk to her about things for the first time in months...not just his fears of leaving Lian alone, but way he had been keeping her at arms distance. He hadn't wanted to continue their relationship..figuring as it was just in the early stages it would be easier on her if they never pursued it any further..He reasoned it would hurt her less if the worst happened and he didn't survive if they were freinds and nothing more. At first she had been shocked by such a suggestion.."easier"? "hurt less"? She loved him with her whole soul wether they remained friends or lovers ..It amazed her that he had even thought anything could make it hurt less if that happened. She had told him that in no uncertain words, and he'd obviously gone away from their discussion and thought deeplyabout it, at least now he didn't flinch and pull away when she touched him...even if he wasn't willing to allow the touching to be anything more than platonic.**

**"Daddy's sleeping." Lian's little voice whispered to her.**

**"Yes he is honey." Donna whispered back.**

**Lian sat down beside her and snuggled against her side. "He's always sleepy." she whispered sadly.**

**"Daddy's not very well lately sweetheart."**

**"I know..Aunty Dinah told me he's sick and it makes him tired...When will Daddy get better?" the little gird asked innocently as she looked into Donna's eye's.**

**"No one knows that sweety...Soon I hope." Donna replied, hugging the little girl close.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**After walking for miles along the road, Dick found they had been marched to some sort of small military compound, regrettably in the opposite direction to the compound they had originally come to find.**

**Dick was thrown into a small roughly built cell and his hands were untied, a guard was stationed by the cell and food and water pushed under the door to him. He drank the water greedily and indicated to the guard that he would like some more..The guard merely stared at him smiling evilly then spat on the floor and turned away.**

**Dick wandered around the cell, inspecting it for weaknesses already planning possible escape routs. After a while he sat down on the dirty mattress that was thrown on the floor, wondering where they had taken Martin and what fate awaited his friend. It was a fate he'd eventually find out about himself, he had no doubt about that.**

**It seemed like hours later when Dicks light sleep was disturbed by a noise. He stood up and waited, a moment later the cell was opened and Martin thrown inside.**

**The tall dark haired man fell to his knees with a groan..Dick rushed over to help him crawl to the mattress. Noticing instantly through the torn shirt the fresh welts that covered his friends body. He began to remove the remains of the shirt, inspecting the damage, looking for serious injuries..After a while it became obvious that whilst the beating was brutal, there was miraculously no broken bones and hopefully no internal injuries.**

**Dick sat back, wondering when they would come for him, continuing to plan a way out of their situation..Whatever they did they'd need to do it soon, there was no way that they would be able to do anything after a couple of days of the beatings Martin had just endured..They would have to think fast if they were going to get out of here alive.**

**The noise of the cell door reopening cut into his thoughts, he stood as two armed men walked in and indicated for him to go with them. Dick drew a deep breath and walked out of the cell, knowing his turn had come.**

**end 8**


	9. Chapter 9

**Part 9**

Two armed men dragged their stumbling captive across the compound.  
Dick didn't struggle, he had no strength left to fight them, his  
head hung down and his shoulders slumped forward as he desperately  
tried to stay upright. The beating had been as viscous as he had  
anticipated. He had been able to brace himself for most of it, but  
his strength had failed in the end and the last few blows had taken  
their toll on his body.

Even as weakened as his body was...his mind was still active and  
alert, as he walked his eye's darted cautiously around, taking in  
the layout of the compound around him, already visualizing the  
escape route that would most likely succeed, the beginnings of a  
plan forming in his mind.

His captives dragged him inside the small building towards the cell  
they had thrown him in earlier. As they approached, Dick stumbled,  
falling heavily against one of the men, the action earned him a  
backhand that sent him tumbling to the floor, he curled up  
momentarily into a ball, until strong hands grabbed him and jerked  
him back to his feet and threw him in the now open cell door.

Martin stood glaring at the guard, watching as the door was locked  
and the guard slipped the key back into the pocket of his shirt.  
Once the guard stepped away from the door and the other two men had  
turned to leave, Martin quickly approached Dick, "You okay Robbie?"  
he whispered, relieved when Dick nodded and began to struggle  
unsteadily to his feet.

Dick glanced sideways at the guard, making sure he wasn't being  
watched before rolling his sleeve back slightly and smiling  
triumphantly as Martins eye's widened at the knife Dick had hidden  
there. His stumble against his captor had earned him more than just  
that backhand.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Roy stepped into the locker room and headed towards the showers,  
he'd finished his workout and had plans to shower and change, then  
head up to the rec room and see what the others were doing.

Dinah had called in earlier that morning and taken Lian for the  
weekend, something she seemed to be doing a lot lately. At first Roy  
had been reluctant to let her go too often, but after he had given  
it some deep thought he had decided it may be in the best interests  
of his little girl, he was secretly hoping it would make things  
easier for her to adjust to living with Dinah should the worst  
happen, not that he would dare tell Dinah he had been thinking such  
things, but he knew he had no choice but to consider that  
possibility.

Roy paused and knelt down to undo his sneakers and remove them,  
tossing them to one side, he stood up and pulled off his sweat  
shirt, before grabbing a towel and heading into one of the showers,  
hanging his towel on the towel rail he turned...his breath caught as  
a sharp pain flared in his side, pausing, he rubbed the spot until  
it retreated to a dull ache.

Frowning he walked over to the large mirror on the wall, he reached  
up and ran his hand gently across the large bruise on his chest he  
had noticed earlier that morning, noticing another one forming on  
his hip where Lian's knee had bumped him when she had jumped on his  
bed to wake him up. "Damn it." he whispered as a cold feeling of  
fear washed over him. His plans for the day had just changed, the  
appointment with his Doctor that he had scheduled for next week  
would have to be made today instead.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Martin watched as the guard leaned his rifle against the wall and  
pulled out a packet of cigarettes, as the guard removed one from the  
packet Martin cleared his throat to gain the mans attention, then  
signaled that he'd like one as well. The guard stared for a moment  
then shrugged, before walking to the cell and leaning against it  
casually as he removed another cigarette and handed it through the  
bars to Martin.

Martin nodded his thanks and took the offered box of matches,  
lighting the cigarette and handing them back to the guard who  
continued leaning against the bars as he lit his own cigarette.

The two men stood casually for a moment...Suddenly, before the guard  
could realize what was happening, strong hands reached through the  
bars and pulled his head firmly back against them, a knife was  
pressed firmly against the shocked mans throat as Martin reached  
into the stunned man's top pocket and removed the key,

Nodding to Dick who still held the guard firmly, Martin reached  
through and unlocked the door. Stepping around to the front of the  
cell he aimed one heavy punch to the guards jaw as Dick released  
him, and knocked the man unconscious.

Dick moved quickly to the end of the building, watching the outside  
carefully, as Martin removed the guards shirt to replace his own  
torn one, then he collected the ammunition belt, matches, knife and  
a couple of other items the guard had on him before picking up the  
rifle and heading towards Dick.

"Wait" Dick whispered as he ran back to the cell and grabbed the  
thin mattress that was laying on the floor.

Dawn was almost breaking as both men made their way stealthily out  
of the building towards a nearby fence, Dick had noticed a truck  
parked next to the fence earlier that night and was relieved to find  
it still in the same position.

Watching a group of men who milled casually around a gate at the  
other end of the compound they crouched down and ran to the truck,  
Dick lead the way as the two men climbed up on top of the vehicle  
and dragged the mattress up, tossing it on top of the fence to cover  
the razor wire, before helping Martin up and over it.

When his friend was safely on the ground on the other side, Dick  
leapt agilely over the mattress and onto the ground beside him.

A shout echoed in the dim light behind them and both men began to  
run towards the safety of the jungle in front of them. More shouting  
rang out, followed by a series of gunshots. Bullets thudded into the  
ground around them as they made in to the tree line. Dick stumbled  
as they pushed into the forest, Martin glanced back at the young man  
concerned, then relieved when Dick recovered and ran past him.

The two companions, ran on blindly, branches whipping at their faces  
as they careened through the heavy foliage, desperately trying to  
put as much distance between themselves and their captors as  
possible.

After what seemed like forever they slowed, their chests and throats  
on fire as they panted heavily, before stopping and flopping to the  
ground.

Martin listened for noises behind them, relieved to hear nothing,  
suspecting that they wouldn't be followed too far into the jungle  
until it became lighter, he allowed himself to relax a little. "Too  
close man!" he gasped.

On hearing no response from Dick he turned towards his  
companion...Noticing Dick had removed his shirt and was inspecting  
his side.

Eye's widening in realization, Martin rushed to his friends  
side.."Shit..why didn't you say something." he said, his voice full  
of concern as he inspected the gunshot wound to Dicks side...he  
quickly assessed that the bullet had passed completely through, he  
held Dicks shirt against the wound to stem the bleeding, hoping the  
bullet had missed any vital organs.

"Dick winced."It's not as bad as it looks... I've had worse" he  
replied shakily.

"It's not good either...We're gonna have to get you out of here as  
quick as possible."

"No!...We're not turning back now..."

"Robbie...Look this sort of wound mightn't be as serious at  
home...where there are Doctors and antibiotics, but out here..."

"Martin, we're not turning back now.. if we move fast we can get  
what we came for and be on our way back within a day and a half."

"Robbie..."

"I'll be okay... Look if we get him out we can head back to the  
river...maybe find some way of traveling down stream at night when  
we won't be as easily noticed...That'd cut heaps off the return  
trip, we could be close to the checkpoint within one night."

Martin frowned..he didn't like this at all, but he knew there was no  
way he was going to change his friends mind. "All right...but when  
we get there I'll go in after our target..you're going to have to  
sit that one out."

"Deal." Dick said, offering a half hearted smile.

end 9  



	10. Chapter 10

**Part 10**

**Roy nestledback into the corner, glancing up briefly at the happy patrons who crowded around the bar. It was getting late and he knew he should be heading back to the tower, Donna had already called him on his cell phone and he had reassured her that he was fine and would be home soon. That was nearly two hours ago... since then he had walked aimlessly for a long time before finally ending up here, he and Dick had come to this place for the occasional beer when they had time to relax and unwind...when Dick wasn't rushing back to Bludhaven or off on some case somewhere, Roy wondered briefly when his friend would return from whatever mission Batman had sent him on, he'd been gone awhile now and it seemed odd to Roy that his leader hadn't told them more about the case...but then Roy never could figure out the Bat clan and the secrecy the shrouded their actions at times.**

**He felt his cell phone ring in the pocket of his jeans...he ignored it, he knew it would be Donna again but he didn't want to talk to her at that moment, content to wallow in self pity for a little longer..he wanted to get the melancholy feeling out of his system before facing her... before facing any of them. He wished he could avoid them, deny the truth that he knew he had to tell them, pretend he didn't know and have it all go away. The noise and movement of the bar was somehow soothing, distracting him from the feelings of hopelessness that overwhelmed him.**

**"Is this a private party or can anyone join in?"**

**"Wally?...Hey bud!" Roy said in as cheerful a voice as he could muster as he looked up at the speedster who had appeared by his table.**

**Wally sat down, watching his friends face carefully, taking note of the slight slur to the Archers voice. "Donna sent me to find you..She's worried." he said.**

**Roy shrugged."I told Donna I was okay." **

**"You don't sound okay."**

**"Just needed some time to myself, that's all. Had some stuff to think through."**

**Wally watched as Roy downed the rest of his beer. "So..like..should you be drinking this much man?...Won't it be a bad mix with your medication or something?" he asked concerned.**

**Roy chuckled. "Nah..no problems there dude." he said.**

**"You sure?"**

**"Yeah man, just leave it will ya." Roy said, his tone a little more annoyed then he wished it had been.**

**Both men sat quietly for a moment. Wally looking at the top of Roy's head as the Archer kept his head down staring fixedly at his beer glass. The speedster knew something was wrong, but he was unsure how to ask, Roy hadn't reacted well to his concern on previous occasions, he didn't want to upset the marksman again this time. He needn't have worried as Roy broke the silence that stretched between them.**

**"I don't have to take any medication anymore...It stopped working." Roy said quietly.**

**"Pardon?" Wally asked, wondering if he had heard correctly.**

**"Roy looked up at him."It's not working." he said...Then paused, realizing he was having to raise his voice over the noise of the bar...Not wanting to have this conversation with his friend in the crowded room, he stood up. "Let's go back to the tower...I'll talk to you there." he said as he headed towards the door.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Dick staggered, stopping for a moment to regain his balance before setting off again, his side burned, agony causing every step to become torturous. He concentrated on pushing the pain and nausea he was feeling aside, focusing on each step he was taking.**

**Martin paused and glanced back at his companion..amazed at the sheer strength of will that kept the young man going. They had walked almost the entire day, stopping only a couple of times to rest and to drink from a small stream they had found. He knew Dicks wound would be causing him a great deal of pain, yet his friend had not complained once. "We'll stop here." he said.**

**Dick glanced at him, pausing for a moment to lean against a tree. "We should keep moving..It'll be dark in an hour or so." he said through clenched teeth.**

**"I know buddy..but you're done for the day..."**

**"Martin..."**

**"No..You listen to me Robbie, you're going to rest here and I'm going to head down closer to the road...We should be nearly at the spot were they captured us, I know they left our back packs behind, if I can find them, I'll bring them back..There's stuff in them we can use." Martin said, thinking of the food and medical supplies in the packs.**

**"I'll come with you...It's too dangerous to go by yourself."**

**Martin chuckled reaching out a hand to give Dicks shoulder a good natured pat. "And what use do you think you'll be to me?...C'mon Robbie we need those packs to survive." he grabbed Dicks elbow and gently guided him to sit down. "I'll be back soon okay."**

**Dick sighed, leaning back against the tree again...too tired to argue he nodded, then closed his eye's..listening to his friends footsteps as the faded into the distance.**

**Sometime later Dick woke with a start...he hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep. He looked around and was relieved that Martin had returned safely. "Hey." he said softly.**

**Martin turned to look at him. "Bout time you woke up." he chided jokingly as he began to remove some items from one of the packs he had managed to find. "I didn't want to wake you...but now that your back in the land of the living let's get you fighting fit again." he said as he approached Dick with some bandages and a bottle of antiseptic.**

**Dick sat quietly as Martin cleaned and dressed his wound..They both knew it was probably too little too late..If the wound was going to become infected, it most likely still would..he's already gone a full day with out any treatment.**

**"There." Martin said as he finished. "Good as new."**

**Dick chuckled softly. "Wish I felt as good as new." he said.**

**"Well get this into you..it'll help." Martin said as he handed him a water canteen before returning to the back pack and pulling out a packet of beef jerky. "I've even prepared dinner for you." he said as he tossed the packet to Dick.**

**"Hope you baked a cake for desert." Dick joked as he picked up the packet. It wasn't exactly a gourmet meal, but Dick wasn't complaining.**

**"We should make it the rest of the way by tomorrow afternoon." Martin said casually.**

**"Good..I'm ready to wind this up." Dick replied, thankful that they were nearly at the halfway point in their journey, and hopeful the return trip would be uneventful. He sighed and leaned back, wondering how Roy was coping back home..hoping that all of this effort would be rewarded by giving his friend another chance at life..knowing there was every chance it wouldn't.**

**end 10**


	11. Chapter 11

**Part 11**

**Garth leaned against the door frame as he watched Roy packing things into his bag. "How long do you guys plan on being gone?" he asked.**

**"Just a couple of days...I can't wait to get back there actually." Roy replied.**

**"You guys driving there?...It's a pretty long trip."**

**"Nah...cheating this time, we're gonna fly in then hire a car and head out to the res...I couldn't hack driving all the way this time I gotta tell ya." Roy finished packing the bag and zipped it up, putting it onto the floor before sitting on the bed.**

**"I'll call if I need Donna back for anything."**

**"Yeah...she'll have her communicator with her..hopefully the bad dude's will stay away for a couple of days." Roy said..no longer questioning the fact that he wouldn't be needed if somthing came up..he'd given up arguing that point months before.**

**Garth watched his friend as Roy lay back on the bed and put his hands behind his head...He was looking pale again Garth thought to himself. But there was something else in his expression now...resignation, acceptance? a bit of both as well as happiness at the thought of returning to Arizona for a few days. "You're sure your up to this trip?"**

**"Yeah man, stop worrying, Donna's gonna be there to play nurse maid...I hafta do this before..." Roy's voice trailed off momentarily. "Well, I just hafta see the place again before things go too far downhill that's all"**

**Garth nodded, he understood, Roy needed to say goodbye. It had only been a day and a half since the Archer had found out there was nothing further that could be done to treat his affliction...nothing except a bone marrow transplant could give him any chance now, and Roy had pushed that from his mind, preparing himself for the worst rather than putting things off in the vague hope a transplant donor would become available. He hadn't given up, he was simply thinking practically, and Garth was amazed at the way his friend appeared to be dealing with the devastating news. **

**"DAAADYY...It's nearly time." Lian said as she came running into Roy's room excitedly, pausing to stop and give Garth's leg a hug on the way through. "Uncle Garf we're going camping." she told him enthusiastically before running to her fathers bed, clambering up and crawling across it to pull one of Roy's hands out from under his head. "C'mon Daddy, Aunty Donna said you have to get ready...we hafta go." she said pulling on his hand until he reluctantly sat up.**

**Garth laughed at the exuberance of the little girl...so much like her father yet so completely different. He stopped laughing and watched the two of them as Roy began to distract Lian with tickles that had the little girl squealing with laughter. He sighed...if Roy had to leave this world at least he was leaving it with a gift...a part of himself that made his being here worthwhile, his daughter would always be a bright light in a world that her father had sometimes found so dark, that light would shine long after he was gone.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Martin Santos glanced back at his companion, the young man behind him was obviously struggling to keep up now, Martin knew things were going to start going down hill for Dick pretty fast if they didn't get out of there soon. He stopped walking and waited for Dick to catch up taking note of Dicks complexion which had turned a sickly pale grey. He reached out a steadying hand as Dick approached him. "Take a break buddy." he said as he helped Dick lower himself to the ground.**

**He watched his friend carefully, concern clouding his face..concern for Dick and worry that they weren't moving fast enough, at this rate they wouldn't reach their destination until tomorrow, that was extra time Martin knew Dick couldn't afford. He removed his back pack and placed it on the ground behind Dick, helping him to lay back on it..they'd left Dick's pack behind, taking the important things out of it and combining them with the equipment in his own..there was no way Dick could carry it and Martin couldn't manage both of them.**

**"Listen buddy...I'm going to hafta take it from here okay." Martin said gently as he handed a canteen of water to Dick.**

**"No..."**

**"Robbie if I don't, we won't make it there tonight...We don't have the time to waste, you're going to have to stay put until I get back, there's no other way."**

**Dick stared at the other man weakly, he knew Martin was right, there was no way he could move any faster than he was, he simply didn't have the strength left in him. "Be careful" he said hoarsely."**

**"Always man...I'll be back in the morning." Martin replied with more confidence than he felt as he picked up the gun he had taken from the guard during their escape from their captors the previous day and placed it next to Dicks hand. "You might need it." he said as he noted Dicks questioning look, reaching out to give Dicks shoulder a reassuring squeeze before rising and heading off.**

**Dick sighed heavily and relaxed back against the pack behind him as he watched the tall dark haired man disappear from sight...He knew now why Roy had such faith in Martin Santos as a friend and ally, he was just the sort of man you would need watching your back in some of the situations Roy would have found himself in whilst working with Checkmate, Dick had no doubt that both men would have saved each other countless times, forging a bound between to two of the that was as close as the one he and Roy and the other Titans shared...as close as family.**

**Dick chuckled slightly..Roy?...Roy would kill him if he knew he'd put himself in this position to help him...but then Roy had never felt himself worthy of having people care about him. Dick shivered slightly, frowning at the movement...it wasn't cold, quite the opposite, yet Dick felt cold...he knew that wasn't a good sign. He rolled over carefully on to his good side, biting his lip to keep from crying out as fiery agony swept through him...Martin was right, they didn't have time to waste.**

**end of 11**


	12. Chapter 12

**Part 12**

**"Beautiful isn't it?" Roy asked quietly as he lay back watching the stars.**

**"I can certainly see why you love it out here so much." Donna replied as she sat down on the blanket next to him.**

**He held his arm out beckoning her to curl up against him,she snuggled in and lay her head on his chest as he wrapped his arm around her. He kissed the top of her head, relishing the warm secure feeling of closeness having her in his arms gave him...hating the ache in his heart that came with that same feeling. Glancing towards the tent in which Lian slept, he sighed...some of the most important things in his life were here...Lian, Donna...Arizona. Things that he loved...the things he would miss the most.**

**The campfire glowed warmly, casting a flickering orange light over them as they lay together...looking as though they had not a care in the world. But appearances can be deceiving and for Roy, not caring would have been easier, not caring would have meant he had nothing to lose...nothing to miss.**

**After a moment of silence Donna propped herself up on one elbow to look into his eye's. "It's going to work out...they'll find a donor and everything will be okay." she whispered, attempting to reassure herself as well as the man she loved.**

**Roy stared into her eye's, as her's locked on his, looking like liquid pools of worry, he suppressed the urge to remind her that there was a chance a donor would not be found in time...She needed to believe..she needed to feel he believed as well. "You know it Wonder Babe." he replied, reaching up to run his fingers through her hair.**

**Donna smiled at the childhood nickname...no matter how many times she had protested his use of that name, he still used it whenever they were alone...or whenever he was intent on playfully teasing her. "You're incorrigible you know?" she laughed softly, loving the grin that lit up his face at the sound of her laugh.**

**"Incorrigible?..You mean charming..wonderful..sexy." he said, raising his eyebrows up and down in mock suggestion.**

**She laughed again.."No I mean incorrigible, Romeo." she said, leaning down to kiss him gently before adding, "Okay, maybe charming, wonderful and sexy as well."**

**He smiled back..their eyes locked, reading the emotions that flashed between them she leaned down to kiss him again..her heart racing as he allowed her to deepen the kiss, her body flushing with warmth as she felt him respond.**

**He slid one hand around to cup the back of her neck, holding her to him as desire rushed through their bodies...sliding the other hand under her shirt and across her back...before he moved suddenly, flipping their position so he now looked down on her. He drew away, slightly breathless as he gazed into her eye's again, seeing the desire he felt reflected back at him from their mesmerizing depths.**

**He had kept her at arms distance for all these months...pushing her away in an effort to protect her from the heartache the would come with losing him. He had worried endlessly about having to leave her..."Donna I..."**

**"Shhh." she whispered, cutting off his words and reaching up to tangle her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck and draw his lips back to hers.**

**He relaxed into the kiss...Knowing now that it wasn't within his power to protect her from those things..Tonight he would push those thoughts aside..Tonight there was no worries... no thought of loss or leaving. Tonight there was only the two of them and for awhile nothing else mattered.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Martin lay in the long grass at the edge of the jungle watching...He had carefully scouted around the compound earlier and pin pointed where the prisoners were be held in a large brick building that stood aside from the rest of the buildings. He'd watched two guards go in and two come out in what appeared to be a change of shift. Most importantly it seemed there was only the two guards in the building at any one time guarding the prisoners..that, he thought, definitely tipped the scales in his favour.**

**He was surprised at first that there weren't more guards around, but the prison was at the back of the compound and the front entrance was heavily guarded, obviously they thought that no one would be likely to enter elsewhere, there was a double fence around the compound and anyone breaking through the first fence then had to enter through the second one, which Martin believed was electrified.**

**This didn't worry Martin however..he had discovered earlier that there was a storm water drain that ran out of the compound into a large gully at the rear...and he had been able to see a drainage grating not ten meters from the prison block in what appeared to be an exercise yard for the prisoners..that couldn't have been more convenient for the plans Martin had formed...he just needed to wait until dark.**

**An hour later as darkness set in, he moved cautiously towards the end of the drain. Crawling inside it he slid on his stomach... the drain wasn't wide enough to allow any other way of maneuvering along it...He winced at the smell on stagnant water that lay in the bottom of the drain, and prayed there wasn't anything living in the pipe he wouldn't like to encounter as he made his way towards the grating he had seen.**

**When he finally made it to the end, he struggled to turn himself over onto his back, and reached up to push the grating open, frowning when he realized it was stuck, cursing under his breath he removed the knife he was carrying and began to scrape away at the dirt and rust that had seized the grating in place. He spat and closed his eyes as dirt and flakes of rust showered over him as he worked. This was the type out thing he hated about these sorts of missions he thought to himself, as he continued with his painstakingly slow task.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Dick lay curled up on his side, shivering violently. He reached slowly for the canteen, he knew he needed to keep his fluid levels up..the movement caused a wave of pain and nausea thatmade him moan softly.**

**He wondered if Martin had made it safely...he prayed he had. Dick realized there was a chance that he wouldn't make it out of this alive..he would fight tooth and nail to prevent that, but if that was the fate that awaited him..than he desperately hoped Martin would succeed...that he could bring the man they had come all this way to rescue back to safety..and that thatman could save Roy's life...If that happened than he was more than willing to lay his life down to save his friend.**

**Dick thought back to times he and Roy had fought along side each other...there wasn't a doubt in his mind that Roy would sacrifice himself to save him.**

**Annoyed with his thoughts Dick shrugged them off..he knew better than to be thinking of death and dying..He needed to stay positive..he had been in difficult situations before and he had always made his way out of them, he would do so again this time. He thought of Bruce...Bruce had taught him to never give up, no matter how bad the position he found himself in was, "I'm not giving up Bruce." he whispered, curling up a little more, gasping as pain speared through him.. "I'll be home soon." he added, pushing the pain aside. He lay still, deliberately slowing his breathing and blanking out his thoughts as he allowed himself to drift into a fitful sleep.**

**end 12**


	13. Chapter 13

****

Part 13

After what seemed to Martin like hours of work, scraping painstakingly at the rust and dirt that had sealed the grating closed he was eventually able to free it enough for it to be moved.

Using the heel of his hand he thumped it repeatedly until it finally moved enough for him to squeeze through…then he pushed himself up and out, surfacing a short distance from the cell block.

Moving quickly he ran to the back of the building and flattened himself against the wall…waiting momentarily to ensure he hadn't been seen. He looked around the corner of the cell block, watching carefully the buildings further towards the front of the compound where uniformed men milled around, coming and going from building to building. From the cooking smells that drifted towards him, making his stomach grumble with hunger Martin surmised that one of the buildings was a mess hall and it was obviously meal time.

Cautiously rounding the corner, he stealthily entered the cell block, moving quickly and silently towards a door way where laughter and male voices could be heard.

He waited for a few moments outside the room, listening carefully, reassuring himself that there were indeed only the two guards…One guard appeared in front of the door, his back to Martin. Taking advantage of the moment Martin leapt around the corner and instantly knocked the guard unconscious with a heavy blow to the back of the neck.

The other guard recovered quickly from the shock of the sudden intrusion and sprang towards an alarm switch on the wall, he reached out to it,only to have his hand pinned to the wall by a knife that Martin had thrown with sudden deadly accuracy.

Martin smirked to himself…even Roy would have been impressed by that throw he thought, as he leapt across to silence the guard who was about the scream for help, knocking him out cold as well.

Martin stood for a moment surveying his handy work, amazed at how simple the job had been, before picking up a set of keys from off the desk in the room and heading out to find the man he had come for.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wally entered the kitchen to find Donna and Roy sitting at the table.

"Hey dude!" Roy said cheerfully in welcome.

Wally smiled and nodded in greeting and headed to the fridge to grab a can of Zesti, opening it before turning and leaning against the fridge.. "How was Arizona?" he asked casually, watching the interactions between his two friends carefully.

"Always great buddy." Roy replied happily.

"When did you get back?"

"Bout an hour ago." Roy replied rising and going to put his cup in the sink. "Actually I'm beat…I'm gonna go lay down for a while..I'll catch you two later." He said, walking back to the table to kiss Donna on the cheek before leaving the room.

Wally watched silently for a moment, carefully considering his words, wondering if he should say anything at all or simply keep his thoughts to himself…and finally deciding he should at least mention some of the things on his mind. "You two seem pretty close." He said.

"We've always been close." Donna replied.

"Yeah but not this close."

"Wally…." Donna paused for a moment before continuing. "We were getting there before all this happened…before he was diagnosed. We never told you guys about it because I wanted to be sure it was right. Then this..nightmare happened and Roy…well he thought we should back away from it a bit, in case….." her voice trailed off quietly, knowing she didn't need to finish the sentence for Wally to understand what she was going to say.

Wally stared at his shoes and fidgeted slightly before looking back at her. "I worry about you, I don't want you to get hurt…I don't want either of you to get hurt." He said quietly, pausing before asking. "Do you really think now is the best time to be heading into a relationship like this?"

Donna stood up and approached him. "I know you're worried, and I love you for caring so much. But Wally we're happy…this is right, it was right a long time ago and I've danced around the issue for so long…wasted all that time...well no more! We may not have time to waste anymore. Please be happy for us." She pleaded as she reached out to give him a hug.

Wally hugged her tightly, wishing he could tell her he was happy for her…but knowing there was a chance that the future would hold a great deal pain for his friends He wished he could do something to protect her from that, but he knew he couldn't. "I do want you to be happy ." he finally said, hugging her back and giving her a brotherly kiss on the top of her head.

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The early morning sunshine shone dappled light thought the branches of the trees that towered above the small clearing Dick lay in, he stirred slightly...Then his eye's flew open at the sound of approaching footsteps. Struggling he sat up. Pushing aside the nausea that engulfed him, he pulled the gun closer to him.

Watching the direction the sound was coming from he readied himself for attack….Sighing with relief as Martin walked into view, then slumping back against the back pack, moaning at the fire that burned in his side and closing his eye's tightly as dizziness washed over him.

Moving quickly Martin knelt down beside his injured friend. He reached out and touched Dick's cheek with the back of his hand, cursing softly as he felt the heat of the fever that now raged through Dick's body.

"Did you get him?" Dick asked hoarsely.

"Yeah, he's right hear Robbie." Martin replied.

Dick forced his eyes open and looked past Martin towards the tall grey haired man in his fifties standing behind him.

The man approached and knelt down next to Martin, and offered his hand to Dick. "So you're Robbie?...Brian Westcott is the name." he said introducing himself.

"I know." Dick whispered, as he shakily shook Brian's hand.

Martin stood up and frowned, knowing that if they were going to get Dick out alive they would need to move fast, and as tired as he and Brian were they had no time to spare for resting. "Ok buddy…we're going to have to get moving. Can you stand?" he asked reaching down to help his friend up as Brian stood quickly and stepped around to Dicks other side to help.

Dick grunted as he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, shaking with pain and weakness as Brian supported him.

"Just lean on me young man I've got you." The older man said gently.

Martin picked up the back pack. "Lets go." He said as he took the lead.

They started walking slowly, allowing Dick to move at whatever pace he could. "Your friend told me why you came after me." Brian said as they walked… "I want you to know that whatever you need me to do I will…My sister Sarah died from leukemia two years ago..I was tested at the time but I wasn't a match..I've kept my name on the register ever since, in case I should ever have the opportunity to help someone else…I felt that if I was ever needed as a donor it would somehow make Sarah's death a little less painfull."

"I…I'm sorry about you sister." Dick managed to whisper through clenched teeth. "I know you'll understand why I needed to do everything within my power to save my friend." he added, panting slightly.

Brian still remembered clearly the feeling of helplessness and pain, the fear and the heartache he had suffered when Sarah had died, yes he understood, he understood completely. "As I said, you want my help, you have it…..This friend of yours must be very important to you for you to go through all of this to help him." He said.

Dick nodded, biting his lip as he continued to push his pain ravaged body to place one foot after the other. "He is…he's family." He whispered.

End 13


	14. Chapter 14

****

Part 14

Brian lowered Dick carefully to the ground, gently laying him back as Martin placed the back pack behind Dick for him to lean on. Both men looked at each other briefly, both reading the concern in each others eyes, there was no way Dick could go any further on foot.

Martin stood up. "I'll be back as soon as I can he said, he was determined to find some sort of boat that they could use to travel the rest of the way down stream, it was the only way they would be able to get Dick out alive. The trip back to the checkpoint would take at least three to four days for a healthy man…In a boat, travelling downstream they would make it overnight.

"**Do what you have to." Brian replied as he held the canteen of water to Dicks lips, holding Dicks head up with one hand and frowning as he felt the young man trembling uncontrollably under his hands. **

Martin headed towards the river which was now only about fifty meters away and turned to follow it upstream. He would find a way of getting Dick downstream quickly, he was determined he would. There was no way he was going to fail the young man who through this experience had become his friend…Besides Roy would never forgive him if Dick didn't make it, he thought to himself, and there was no way on gods green earth he would let Roy down after what the two of them had been through together in their experiences with Checkmate.

Brian watched as Martin disappeared wondering briefly if he would return, then pushing the thought away. These two young men had gone through so much to rescue him it was not likely that Martin would abandon them now.

"**Ok Robbie young man, we need to get a bit more water into you." He said quietly as he held the canteen to Dick's lips again. **

Dick sipped the cool water thirstily, he felt too weak to even hold his head up properly, though his side no longer pained him as much, the agony had turned into a deep burning numbness instead.

Suddenly a wave of nausea hit Dick causing him to choke. Brain quickly helped him roll onto his side, frowning worriedly as the young man threw up the water he had just swallowed.

Dick continued to dry heave for some time after his stomach was emptied. Once the spasms had stopped Brian helped him to lay back on the back pack and washed his face with water from the canteen, then he sat down beside him and sighed deeply. "What are we going to do with you young man?"he asked as Dick lapsed into unconsciousness. If Dick couldn't keep water down there was no way he would survive out here much longer.

"**You better hurry." He whispered as he looked towards where Martin had disappeared upstream, praying silently that the other man would be successful in his search. **

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Brian awoke as he felt something rocking his shoulder. He jumped at the unexpected touch, annoyed that he hadn't even realized he had fallen into an exhausted sleep. Looking up he was overjoyed to see Martin looking back at him, and from the grin on the younger mans face he had been successful in his search for a boat. "You did it?" he asked eagerly.

"**Sure did..It's not the best boat..It leaks a bit, but there's a bucket in it and we can take turns bailing, it's not great but it floats and it'll get us there." Martin replied. **

Brian climbed to his feet. He looked at Martins exhausted but happy face. "So?... What are we waiting for?" he asked. Knowing darkness was closing in and it was the perfect time to move.

"**Nothing lets go." Martin replied as he stepped towards Dick.**

"**Good because he's not doing very well at all…Time is of the essence." Brian replied as he knelt down next to Dick. "Come on Robbie my boy…Lets wake you up." He said as he tried vainly to wake the unconscious young man.**

"**We're going to have to carry him." Martin said as he reached down to take hold of Dicks shoulders, leaving Brian to pick up his feet. **

Ten minutes later they laid him carefully in the boat. Martin quickly returned to retrieve the back pack and once it was safely stowed next to Dick he pushed away from the bank and they set off on their desperate journey home.

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"**C'mon Robbie. ..Buddy you've got to help us out a bit here!" Martin whispered as he tried to wake his friend early the next morning. Dawn was beginning to break and they had made it back to the spot in the river where they had crossed into the boarder when they had first arrived. Martin was desperate to get the three of them safely across the river bank and over the boarder on the other side. If they didn't move now the guards at the checkpoint further down stream would be able to see them moving through the long grass at the rivers edge. **

Unable to rouse his sleeping friend Martin enlisted Brian's help and they heaved him out of the boat and onto the riverbank. He then turned back to the boat and opened the back pack withdrawing an object that he knew would come in handy, he pocketed it, then returned to his companions. Once there he hoisted Dick up over his shoulders, thankful that the other mans unconscious state would prevent him from feeling the pain the position would obviously cause to the wound in his side.

"**Move." Martin whispered desperately, leading the way towards the jungle as fast as he could. **

They were almost to the other side, Martins breath burned in his chest and throat, his knees were in danger of buckling, but he still pushed on, the urgency of their situation fueling his movements...until eventually he could go no further, collapsing exhausted to the ground just meters short of their goal.

Brian who had already made it into the jungle, turned and ran back towards them, grabbing Dick under the arms he dragged him back towards safety and into the dense jungle, returning to help Martin to his feet.

Both men collapsed, relieved and exhausted beside Dick.

"**We did it." Brian croaked happily, his throat parched from exertion. **

Martin lay still for a few moments waiting for his breathing to slow. "Yeah we did." He finally replied before he sat up, now they were over the boarder they could safely call on the help they needed without fear of causing an international incident. He reached into his pocket to pull out the object he had retrieved from the back pack. "Now lets get the hell out of here." He said as he looked at the object..He seen Roy use one of these before and he was darn glad Dick had brought his with him he thought to himself as he held up the Titans communicator in his hand.

End 14


	15. Chapter 15

**Part 15**

**Dick stirred, opening his eyes he stared at the stark white ceiling above him, he was surprised by the absence of the pain that had plagued his every waking moment over the previous few days. Looking slowly around him he soon realized he was in hospital, the cloudiness of his thoughts told him that the lack of pain must be due to some type of pain medication he had no doubt been given.**

**Glancing to one side of the room, he was surprised to see Roy dozing in a chair next to his bed, and even Dicks medication fogged mind was able to register the red heads pale face and dark ringed eyes. "Roy?" he croaked.**

**The marksman awoke instantly at the sound of Dicks voice. "Hey!" he said in greeting.**

**"You look like shit." Dick whispered.**

**Roy chuckled. "We need a mirror in here dude, cause if I look like shit I'd hate to even say what you look like."**

**Dick managed a weak smile before closing his eyes. "Where's Martin?" he asked.**

**"Back at the tower with the English dude..they're still trying to catch up on some zee's...You've been out for two days, Alfreds been here the whole time, but he's taking a break for now and he'll be back in an hour or so..." Roy paused, looking carefully at Dicks face, he was still a peculiar shade of grey, but at least now that the massive doses of antibiotics he was receiving had begun to work he didn't look quite as much like he would never survive. "You scared the shit out of us man." he added softly.**

**Dick nodded slightly, still keeping his eyes closed.**

**"They told me why..." Roy stopped, swallowing before continuing. "Damn it I can't believe you did this man...Shit, you coulda died out there." Roy said, concern giving his voice an edge that made Dick open his eyes and look at him.**

**"So...What?..I should have just let this chance slip away? I should have turned my back on this opportunity and taken the gamble that something else might turn up? I should have turned my back on being able to help you?" Dick replied hoarsely, the effort required to say the words taking a toll on his body.**

**Roy sat silently for a moment. "You coulda died out there." he repeated quietly.**

**A wave of exhaustion swept over Dick and he closed his eye's again. He felt himself drifting off, unable to stay awake. "You would have done it for me." he whispered as he fell asleep.**

**Roy continued to watch his freinds face as the dark haired acrobat's features relaxed into sleep. "In a heartbeat buddy." he whispered in reply.**

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** Two Weeks Later**

**Roy curled up on the bed beside Lian, they had just finished reading a bed time story and Roy wanted to spend as much time as possible with her tonight. Tomorrow he would enter a sterile room at STAR labs and begin treatment. He would receive an infusion of high dose chemotherapy, followed by a series of intense full body radiation treatment which would destroy his bone marrow completely. Only thencould he receive the bone marrow transplant he needed. He would need to be kept in isolation for a few weeks to guard against infection from which his body would have absolutely no defense. The room he would be in even had to have the air specially filtered and he would be allowed few visitors, the ones that could visit would need to take precautions, washing and wearing sterile gowns, caps and masks before they would be able to enter his room.**

**He had a rough road ahead of him ..There were a lot of dangers facing him, dangers from infection, his body rejecting the new bone marrow or even the possibility that the new marrow cells could launch an antibody attack on his own body. All these dangers had been explained in detail. Roy knew there was a chance that tonight may be the last time he would hold his little girl in his arms again.**

**"Etai Yazi...do you know how much Daddy loves you?" he asked softly.**

**Lian grinned tiredly."Yes Daddy...I'm your heart." she replied in a tired little voice.**

**"That's right sweetheart, you are my heart." Roy repeated the little girls words as he placed his cheek against her head, relishing the touch of her silky soft hair against his skin. "Baby if Daddy ever has to go away, you know you'll be safe with Aunty Dinah don't you?" **

**"Yes Daddy...But you always come back." the little girl replied, yawning sleepily.**

**"Honey, sometimes Daddy's go away and they can't come back." Roy said gently.**

**Lian turned her head to look at him, her brown eyes concerned. "But you said you'd never leave me Daddy." she said.**

**Roy paused, his heart breaking at her words. "That's true baby...Even if you can't see me I'll always be there...all around you as part of the world...You just have to think of me..remember me and you'll feel me with you." Roy whispered.**

**The little girl looked puzzled at his words...The she giggled softly. "You're silly Daddy." she said, not understanding what her father was telling her. Her Daddy would always be there...that was the way it had always been..she couldn't imagine any other way for life to be.**

**Roy kissed her cheek and hugged her to him...trying to push away the sense of fear and foreboding he felt weighing him down. "Yeah baby..Daddy's silly." he agreed quietly as he stroked her long dark hair until she drifted off to sleep.**

**end 15**


	16. Chapter 16

**Part 16**

**Early the next morning Roy sat on his bed. Spread out around him were photos he had tipped out of a box that lay to one side. They were photos he had kept over the years...photo's of Lian..photos of the Titans and photos of he and Ollie. He stared at one particular photo...one of himself bow drawn ready to shoot at some distant target that was out of the picture, Ollie stood behind him, his hand on Roy's shoulder smiling proudly.**

**Roy sighed deeply, he missed his former mentor who had died not so long ago...they hadn't always seen eye to eye, and there had been a rift in their relationship that had torn them apart for years whist Ollie was still alive...but now he was gone Roy realized that none of that mattered. If Ollie walked back into his life tomorrow all the hurt and angst would be forgotten in the joy of having him back.**

**Roy was glad he had been able to remain close to his friends...to Lian and Dinah and the others in his life. He was relieved to know that he wouldn't be leaving them with the regrets he had felt after Ollie's death. If the worst did happen at least he felt at peace with the knowledge that his relationships with those that mattered the most to him were ones that held no regrets.**

**"You tripping down memory lane?"**

**Roy looked up at Dick who was standing in the open doorway of his room. "Hey Wingster.." Roy said, putting a cheery tone in his voice. "Yeah just being a bit of a sentimental whimp I guess."**

**"It's not being a whimp to care Roy." Dick said quietly as he walked over and sat on the end of the bed. He could understand exactly what was going through Roy's mind...the need to go through those mementos of his life once more before heading into the uncertainty that lay ahead.**

**Feeling uncomfortable with the silence that had descended between them Roy looked at Dick. "What the hell are you doing back here anyway man?...I thought you were supposed to be resting still?" he asked changing the subject as he began to pack the photos away.**

**Dick watched his friend closely...The Archer had lost weight in recent days..it showed clearly in the angular look that began to show in his face. "I wanted to see you before they lock you away from the world." Dick joked half heartedly. The truth was he knew the ordeal that lay ahead for his friend, it was very likely Roy wouldn't be up to having visitors for some time and Dick wanted to see him before the treatment began...he wanted to offer his unspoken support..to somehow will his friend strength.**

**"Bet Alfie had a fit when you wanted to leave the haunted mansion." Roy laughed.**

**Dick smiled at the sound of his friends laughter."He understood...I told him I'd take things easy. I'm not going to push things to much, I don't want to set things back...I want to get back on deck and back to Bludhaven as soon as possible." he said.**

**Roy said nothing...staring at a photo of the five Titans together. They looked so young and carefree in the photo. So much had happened to them all since then...Roy's life had taken some pretty dark twists and turns and his friends had always been there...helping him, supporting him while he picked up the pieces of his life and carried on.**

**He dropped the photo in the box and glanced at Dick before standing up and walking a short distance away to stand with his back to his friend. He ran his hand through his hair...Dick had always been there, he had supported him, encouraged him and put up with his moodiness and constant criticism...Dick had tolerated his challenging his decisions and forgave him for having to take the leadership of the Titans away from him whenRoy was working for the government, Dick had stood by him through thick and thin , he had helped him get custody of Lian, and now Dick had risked his own life to give him a chance to survive.**

**"Roy?"**

**"Thanks man." Roy said quietly.**

**"For what?" Dick asked puzzled.**

**"For everything...For thinking I was worthwhile enough for you to go through what you just did for me...For being like the brother I never had."**

**Dick walked over and stood behind the Archer, he reached out and placed a hand on Roy's shoulder."Families come in different forms Roy...The five of us will always be family. There's a proverb I once heard that goes something like this, "There exists companions disposed to break one another to pieces, but there exists a friend sticking closer than a brother." Sometimes it seems like that was written for the five of us. Family looks out for one another Roy so there's no thanks needed.**

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**Donna reached out and gently stroked Roy's forehead, he stirred but didn't wake. The Archer had started treatment six days earlier and it had taken a severe toll on his body. When Roy had entered the room at STAR labs he had looked a bit pale and tired, but still reasonably healthy. Now he lay before her looking incredibly frail...Suffering from nausea and vomiting he was unable to tolerate any food and had to be fed intravenously. He'd lost so much weight he was hardly recognizable as the same strong vibrant man he once was.**

**Donna had known what the side effects of the treatment would be...She had studied as much information as she could before Roy had come here. But reading about it and seeing it were two different things..there was no way she could have prepared herself for what Roy was now going through.**

**At first Roy had refused to allow her into the room with him. He had felt embarrassed by what he perceived as the weakness the treatment caused and he hadn't wanted her to see him that way. But he had gotten to the point that he felt so ill he no longer had the strength to refuse to see her anymore, and Donna hadn't left his side since, other than to duck back to the Tower for a couple of hours sleep at night...returning in the early hours of the morning to stay with him all day.**

**He still had five radiation treatments left before the Doctors could take the next step in his treatment and the bone marrow transplant could take place. Donna's heart ached at the thought that Roy still had so much left to go through and she would have changed places with him in a heartbeat if she could spare him the suffering that he was enduring.**

**A soft moan brought her attention back to Roy, she reached down to hold his hand. "I'm still here honey." she said reassuringly.**

**He nodded slightly, still keeping his eye's closed, relaxing at her touch before drifting back to sleep.**

**Donna turned as the door opened and Dick walked in also dressed in the required sterile attire. It had been necessary to restrict the amount of visitors to Roy's room to just the two of them to keep the risk of infection to a minimum, in Roy's current condition he had absolutely no immune system and a simple cold could have proved fatal. Wally, Garth and Dinah occasionally visited but were restricted to looking through the large glass window of Roy's room and were not allowed inside.**

**"Sleeping?" Dick whispered.**

**Donna nodded. "He was awake earlier for a little while though."**

**Dick placed a hand gently on Roy's arm in a silent hello before he sat in one of the chairs near the bed.**

**Donna remained standing, holding the Archers hand. " This is so cruel Dick." she whispered emotionally as she gazed down at Roy's sleeping form.**

**"I know it is." Dick whispered back.**

**"He looks..." Donna paused, turning to look at Dick before continuing. "like he's close to death." she whispered, brushing away a stray tear that ran down her face.**

**Dick rose and went to her, pulling her into his arms to comfort her. "Don't let him see you're upset." he whispered. "You need to be strong for him...He's trying to be strong for you. He's going to get through this Donna, we all know how tough he is." he said softly, wishing he felt as confident as he sounded. Roy still had a long, long way to go and Dick knew it wasn't going to be easy.**

**end 16**


	17. Chapter 17

**Part 17**

**Brian Westcott looked through the large glass window of Roy's room. A nurse flittered about the young mans bed taking various observations...ensuring everything was as it should be. Donna stood nearby with her back to the window, not noticing the silent observer behind her, her focus, as it had been constantly over the last eleven days, was on Roy.**

**The young man still faced anxious times ahead of him, Brian thought to himself. Today was a big day for both of them, in a short while Brian would be facing the procedure used to extract some of the precious bone marrow from his hips in order for Roy to receive the chance at life that the Archer so desperately needed. Brian was both nervous and excited at the same time, nervous about the procedure he was about to undergo and excited to be giving Roy this life giving opportunity...a chance to save the young mans life which still lay precariously in the balance.**

**Brian had no family of his own, his only remaining blood relative had been his sister Sarah, and now she was gone he had no one. There had been a woman he had loved with his whole soul as a young man, but a car accident had taken away his chance at happiness with her thirty years ago. He had never found anyone else that he felt he could share his life with...He had friends, good friends, but nothing like the remarkable bond that existed between the five young people with whom he had spent the last few weeks as he waited for this day to arrive.**

**He had spent much of the first two weeks getting to know Roy before his treatment began. And he had to admit he was impressed with the strength of character the young man displayed. The Archer had remained outwardly cheerful and optimistic in front of the others, showing a courage that Brian doubted he would have had himself. Roy had never once complained to Brian about the ordeal that awaited him...but Brian felt that what Roy showed on the outside wasn't always what he was feeling on the inside. The older man felt certain that Roy was simply putting on a brave face for those around him, and for his young daughter whom the younger man obviously adored.**

**Brian had discovered that Roy also had no family of his own, other than the little girl who understood nothing of the ordeal her father faced in order to see her grow up. Apparently Roy had no other close living relatives, his father having died when he was a toddler. There had been a couple of other father figures in the young mans life, but Roy hadn't told him much about them and Brian hadn't wanted to pry..The lad had obviously suffered a great deal in his life time and Brian couldn't help feel a sense of sadness that the Archer must continue to face trials...It always seemed to Brian that the ones that had endured the most were the ones who continued to face hardships life threw at them.**

**"Ready for the big day?" a warm voice said from behind him.**

**Brian turned to find Garth standing there...moments later Wally walked in as well. Brian wasn't surprised to see them, he knew that Roy's friends would be wanting to be together to show Roy they were there to support him on this day. Brian knew also that Dick would be arriving shortly to spend the day with his friend as well..all five Titans together. Brian smiled slightly at the thought, if Roy had been facing any other enemy...any of the Titans enemies, that foe would have little chance of breaking through the support and determination that the friends silently willed to their comrade. But this was an enemy Roy had to face alone..it was a battle only he could engage in. "As ready as I'll ever be." he finally replied turning back to the window.**

**"I wanted to thank you for doing this for Roy...I know it's not a small thing and not everyone would be willing to go through this for a stranger." Garth said quietly.**

**"Same goes from me...You're giving Roy a chance that he may not have had." Wally added.**

**"There is no need for thanks. This is an honor that I'm grateful to have the opportunity of. And that young man in there is no longer a stranger...I realize we have only known each other for a few weeks, but it feels like I've known him a life time, this sort of experience has a way of doing that..." Brian paused as he watched Roy look towards them..the younger man was obviously surprised to see them standing there watching him. A smile broke on the older mans face as the Archer pushed aside his weakness and offered them a smile and a shaky thumbs up.**

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**The bone marrow was taken from Brian and injected into Roy's bloodstream via a catheter through an incision in his chest . The cells would findtheir way from Roy's blood into the cavities in his bones where they would eventually begin to multiply.**

**Dick watched as the procedure was carried out, he couldn't help thinking to himself that his friend looked as though he didn't have much life left in him. Now more waiting had to be endured, Dick knew it would be a number of days before they would know if the transplant was going to take...Now came a time when more dangers could surface, the danger of Roy's body rejecting the transplant and the danger of infection amongst other things. Dick doubted Roy would have the strength to withstand any set backs.**

**Afterwards Donna stood beside the bed, holding Roy's hand. The marksman looked up at her...noting the fear and worry in her eyes he forced himself to smile up at her. "Hey...smile for me would ya. This is a new start to life, everythings gonna get better from here on in." he said weakly, attempting to reassure her.**

**Donna looked down at him and squeezed his hand..She managed to paste a smile on her lips, swallowing hard to stop from crying, marveling at the fact that as sick as he was Roy had found the strength to offer her reassurance. "I know it will...Nothing keeps you down for long now does it?" she joked softly.**

**"You betta believe it Wonder Chick." He replied, closing his eyes and shakily returning the squeeze she had given her hand. "I love you, you know?" he whispered softly.**

**"Ditto Romeo." she replied.**

**"Okay you two, should I leave or something?...I'm feeling like a third wheel here." Dick chimed in.**

**Roy smiled. "Nah dude...'s okay, I'm going to sleep anyway." he whispered.**

**Dick stood silently for a moment as Donna stroked the Archers brow, within moments Roy's breathing deepened as he fell into sleep. "I'm going to know he's on the mend when we start hearing some snappy come backs again." he murmured.**

**Donna nodded. "Those smart aleck wisecracks used to drive me insane...now I'd give anything to hear them." she replied.**

**"It's just a matter of time now..This will all be over before too long. Then he can get his life back." Dick said confidently.**

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**In the days ahead Roy's white cell count began to rise slowly, the doctors had said that the first target they were aiming for was a cell count of one thousand, once it reached that point it was a sign that the cells were beginning to multiply and he would then be able to come out of the isolation room he was in. **

**Until then Donna double checked everyone that entered the room, Doctors, Nurses and even Dick. She knew that if they had the smallest sniffle, the slightest cold, it cold kill Roy and she was determined to protect him from that possibility, she couldn't do much about the other risks he faced but she could do that little bit to ensure he didn't catch anything that would put him at further risk.**

**Roy's body had to build an entirely new immune system from the small number of cells provided in the transplant, and that took time. After a few days Roy's cell count stood at one hundred.. then it crept up to five hundred. Donna was overjoyed by the news..until the next day the count had fallen back to three hundred. The Doctors reassured her this wasn't unusual, but Donna was still anxious, though she relaxed a little on finding out it was up to six hundred the next day.**

**A few days later Donna returned to see Roy early in the morning after going home to sleep the night before, she was surprised to find Dick already there, he usually visited in the afternoon, but this morning he had decided to visit early.**

**They changed into the sterile clothing they needed to wear and entered Roy's room together. Both stopping for a moment once inside, surprised to find Roy half sitting in bed..even more surprised to find him finishing a glass of juice.**

**"Hey..what's this? Real food man, that's a big step." Dick said happily.**

**"You call diluted fruit juice real food? Dude you've got more problems than I thought." Roy replied lightly.**

**Donna and Dick looked at each other momentarily. **

**"Does that count as a witty come back?" Dick laughed quietly.**

**"Well it wasn't very witty, but it was definitely a come back of sorts." Donna replied happily.**

**Roy rolled his eyes and lay back further against the pillows behind him. "Give me a break, it was the best I could think of on short notice...Any way I wouldn't be celebrating to quickly..it might only be juice but it's gotta stay down yet." he said, his voice still decidedly weak.**

**"Well everything else you ate or drank before bounced straight back, so I'm thinking this is going to be okay...They tell you what the cell count is for today?" Dick replied as he walked over to stand near the bed. **

**Roy managed a smile and looked at Donna who was now holding his hand on the other side of the bed. "You betcha dude..it's on the way up again." he said as he closed his eyes, suddenly tired again.**

**Donna playfully tapped his arm. "Don't you dare go back to sleep until you tell us." she said happy at the welcome change in Roy's demeanor.**

**"Eleven hundred." Roy whispered sleepily.**

**Donna let out a squeal of joy and reached down to gently hug him..the sudden noise making Roy jump. "Sheesh..ya can't take her anywhere." He mumbled, happy that she was happy, and to tired to say anything more.**

**end 17**


	18. Chapter 18

**Part 18**

**Roy's health continued to improve and four weeks after he had started the first of the radiation treatments he was allowed to go home. He was still weak, but he no longer looked as frail as he had been, and a healthy color had returned to his face.**

**He would need to take precautions for a couple of months..Avoiding people with colds and flu's, staying away from overcrowded environments and wearing a mask outdoors. These were necessary precautions to avoid the threat of illness and infections from which he was still vulnerable.**

**As he walked through the tower towards the recreation room on the day he was released, he felt tired but happy, glad that for now the worst appeared to be behind him. There was still a chance of complications and it would be five years before he would be considered officially cured...but Roy knew he had to put those thoughts from his mind, for now all was going well and that was what mattered the most.**

**He glanced at Donna who was holding his hand, grateful for her continued support, feeling that the bond between them had deepened in recent weeks. They entered the rec room and were surprised to be greeted by a small group of friends, who cheered and clapped happily as they welcomed him home.**

**"DADDY!" Lian yelled excitedly as she broke away from Dinah and rushed towards him overjoyed to have him back. She was almost to him, about to jump into his arms expecting him to catch her and spin her around as he normally did when Garth quickly stepped in and scooped her up, tossing her into the air and catching her, causing her to break into a fit of raucous laughter.**

**"Let your Daddy sit down first little one." he said, nodding towards the sofa to indicate Roy should sit.**

**Once Roy had complied and was sitting, Garth placed Lian on the chair beside him.**

**"Thanks Dude." Roy said, appreciating the concern of the Atlantean...knowing he still didn't have the strength to pick the little girl up.**

**"I missed you Daddy." Lian said hugging him...not even appearing to notice the difference in her fathers appearance since she had last seen him, she was just delighted to have him home.**

**"I missed you to princess...more than I can say." Roy replied as he hugged her back.**

**"Aunty Dinah said you was sick and had to go to hostipal." the little girl said, eyes wide with concern.**

**"Hospital." Roy corrected. "And yes I did have to go there. But I'm getting better now baby."**

**"Lian held his face tenderly in her little hands, watching him quietly for a moment before gently kissing him on the cheek. "I'll look after you Daddy." she said, hugging him again.**

**"We'll all look after him." Donna added as she sat on theedge of the chair and put her arm around the Archer.**

**"So what do _I _have to do to get a couple of pretty ladies offering to look after me?" a deep voice said.**

**"Martin!...Hey Dude, what the hell are you doing back here?" Roy asked the tall dark haired man who approached him.**

**"What?.. Did you think I wouldn't want to check back in to see if my best bud was doing okay?" Martin asked.**

**"No...it's just...Well you've done heaps for me dude...I thought you'd wanna spend some time with Erika and the kids, not be tripping back here to visit my sorry ass."**

**Martin chuckled."Well I would have had my sorry ass kicked if I hadn't come. Erika wanted me to see for myself that you were doing okay. She wants you back home to visit after you're back on deck." Martin paused looking closely at his friend. "I think you could do with some fattening up, and you know what Erika's cooking's like."**

**Roy nodded, smiling happily. He loved the feeling of belonging that the Santosa's gave him when he visited them...the same feeling that the Titan's and Dinah gave him..a feeling of not being alone in the world...a feeling like someone was always watching his back in life's battle's, a safe harbor in a storm.**

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**Later that night after Donna had tucked Lian in her bed, she quietly slipped into Roy's room. He had gone to bed an hour earlier and Donna wanted to look in on him before she herself went to bed.**

**She approached his bed quietly and stood looking down on him, watching him sleep..an overwhelming feeling of relief surging through her at seeing him safely at home where he belonged after so many weeks of worry and uncertainty. She reached down and carefully pulled the blanket up over his shoulders and turned to leave.**

**"Don't go." he said sleepily.**

**She turned back to face him. "I didn't mean to wake you honey...Go back to sleep." she said softly.**

**He pulled the corner of the blanket back and patted the bed. "Don't go...stay with me." he repeated.**

**She hesitated for a moment, before slipping off her shoes and climbing in beside him, snuggling up against him as he lay on his side.**

**He reached out to stroke her hair and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, before relaxing against her.**

**Donna wrapped her arms around him and kissed him gently, allowing the kiss to linger as she felt him respond. "And that's all your going to get for tonight." she whispered jokingly.**

**Roy chuckled softly. "I'm a little embarrassed to admit that that's all I've got to give...anything else would take too much energy." he joked back.**

**"Your reputation is in tatters...The beast has been tamed." Donna giggled, hugging him.**

**"Only temporarily sweetheart...only temporarily." Roy replied sleepily.**

**"Oh I'm sure of that." Donna whispered. "Now go back to sleep..I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up." she promised as she held him until he relaxed completely and drifted off.**

**end part 18**


	19. Chapter 19

**Part 19**

**It had been a wonderful week, Donna thought to herself as she walked along the corridor towards Roy's room. Everyday the Archer's health had seemed to improve, even his Doctors had been surprised by how well he was doing, and although it had only been a week since he returned home, Donna was confidant that he would be back to his old self quicker than any of them thought. **

**Today he had seemed a little quieter...but the Doctor had warned them that he would have bad days, so it wasn't surprising that he had chosen to go to bed even earlier than usual... this was just one of many such bad days he would be likely to have. **

**Thinking he would be sleeping Donna was surprised to find his light still on as she knocked lightly and opened the door. "I thought you were going to sleep." she said as she walked in.**

**Roy sat in bed, leaning back against the head board andflicking through an archery magazine that Wally had picked up for him earlier that day. "I tried...I'm tired but..." he shrugged and reached up absentmindedly to rub his temple.**

**Donna frowned at the casual action. "You okay?...Is something wrong?" she asked concerned, as she quickly crossed the room and sat beside him, reaching out to put her hand on his forehead.**

**Roy pulled away, a little annoyed at her concern and knowing he shouldn't be. "Just a bit of a headache."**

**"Your a little warm...Maybe I should call the Doctor?"**

**"Donna..it's just a headache don't worry about it, it'll be gone in the morning."**

**"Honey the Doctor said we had to watch out for things like this...We can't take any chances."**

**Roy sighed in annoyance. "Every body gets a headache occasionally...It's probably just because I'm tired. ..Look if it's still there in the morning you can worry about it then." he said, his voice edgy.**

**Donna looked at him for a moment, understanding that he was tired of being poked and prodded by doctors, and not wanting to upset him. He was probably right and it was just a simple headache, nothing to worry about. "Okay...but if it's still there in the morning, I'm calling straight away." she said as she picked up the magazine he had thrown aside and put it on the bedside table. "Now sleep!" she ordered as she turned off the lamp.**

**Roy lay down, "Yes Mom." he quipped.**

**Donna smiled as she climbed across the bed to sit behind him and began to massage his neck and shoulders, "Be a good boy and do as you're told." she said. "You might even get rewarded for being obedient." she jokingly added.**

**Roy sniggered. "Yeah right... Maybe I like being punished more." he chuckled.**

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**When Donna woke the next morning in Roy's arms, her head on his chest, she knew straight away that he had more than a headache. She could feel heat radiating off his body and the beginnings of a wheeze whispering in his chest.**

**"Roy?" she called softly, gently shaking him awake.**

**He stirred and opened his eyes sleepily to look at her, before breaking into a smile.**

**"I'm calling the Doctor." she said firmly.**

**He looked surprised by the statement, yes the headache was still there slightly but other than that he felt okay. "Why?" he asked, as he sat up.**

**Donna reached up to place the back of her hand on his cheek to double check. "You have a fever." she replied.**

**"I do?" Roy was genuinely surprised, he really didn't feel sick.**

**"You do..Wait here and I'll go call." Donna replied as she climbed out of bed and pulled a gown on.**

**An hour later and the doctor had just finished his examination. Roy had a bit of a fever but nothing to extreme, and there was a slight rattle beginning to form in his chest, but the doctor was confident that whatever it was they had caught it quickly. He drew some blood for testing as a precaution, you could never be too cautious with patients that had diminished immune systems he thought to himself.**

**"Ok young man, I'm going to start you on a course of broad spectrum antibiotics, you'll need to take three casuals a day until there all gone...but just to make sure we get things under control quickly I'll give you and injection of the same antibiotic before I leave just to be sure it gets into your system fast." he said as he drew the necessary medication up into a syringe.**

**After the Doctor had given Roy the injection he turned to leave, opening the door to find Donna, Dick and Garth leaning against the wall. Garth offered to show the Doctor out and Dick and Donna walked into the room to talk to Roy.**

**Dick watched the Archer silently for a moment, waiting for him to speak, when he didn't Dick asked. "Well? Whats the verdict?"**

**"Just the start of something, we caught it early, so it'll be okay." he paused for a moment. "He gave me an injection!" he added pouting.**

**Donna laughed at the expression on his face and the whiny tone to his voice, and moved to sit beside him, relieved that everything seemed to be fine.**

**Roy looked at he affronted. "It hurt!" he said indignantly.**

**Dick chuckled. "You've just been through hell over the last few weeks and you never complained once...not even when they poked you full of needles...and now you're whining about a simple injection?" he said**

**"Well I was too sick to notice most of them...Besides this was a really big one." Roy said seriously.**

**"Poor baby... You want me to kiss it better for you?" Donna cooed playfully as she hugged him.**

**This time it was Roy who burst into laugher. "You wanna kiss my butt? Cause thats where I got it." he chuckled.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**The next morning the team were called away to assist with rescue efforts for an earthquake that had devastated a small town in Turkey and it was two days before they returned. They hadn't left Roy alone, the new Nanny they had hired for Lian was there and Donna knew she was capable of keeping an eye on both Roy and Lian. So it came as some what of a surprise to find Roy coughing when they returned. He certainly seemed worse not better, and after questioning Roy about the situation Donna discovered that the doctor had been called the day before and had changed the antibiotics Roy was on in an effort to gain control of the chest infection he had developed..Donna wanted to call the doctor again but Roy insisted they wait, it sometimes took a little time for antibiotics to begin to work and the doctor had already organized to see Roy againthe next morning.**

**Things were under control, Roy insisted...adding that he was sick to death of being fussed over. So Donna gave him a bit of space, knowing that the Doctor would fill them in on his condition in the morning, and pushing aside the concern that the Archers decidedly raspy breathing caused her, Roy decided he would have a shower and meet her in the kitchen for coffee, so Donna sought Dick out and explained her concerns to him.**

**"If the doctor hasalready seen him and changed his medication there's not much we can do Donna." Dick replied after listening carefully to what she had to say.**

**"But he sounds terrible Dick...I really have to wonder if he was this bad when the doctor saw him yesterday or not...Maybe it's gotten worse since then, maybe we should insist he gets checked again." Donna said concerned.**

**"What did Lian's Nanny say?"**

**"She said she's had Lian out most of the day and she hasn't seen much of Roy, but she did say he seemed to be wheezing more."**

**Dick frowned, he was as worried as Donna, but he couldn't just call the doctor in without getting Roy's approval. "You want me to go talk to him?" he finally asked.**

**"Please?...He's more likely to listen to you, he just thinks I'm mothering him...I could be worrying over nothing though."**

**"Well it's better to be sure that sorry." Dick said as he headed towards the Archers room.**

**Dick knocked on the door and on receiving no answer he opened the door, suspecting Roy was still in the shower and hadn't heard the knock.**

**As soon as the door opened Dick knew things were bad, a cold feeling of fear came over him as he rushed to his friends side...He shouted into his communicator to Wally to get to Roy's room fast, as he dropped to the floor beside the Archer who was on his knees gasping for breath. "It's okay buddy, helps coming." he said as he took Roy's pulse which was racing rapidly...the bluish tinge around his friends lips and the pallor of his face made Dick realize that Roy wasn't getting enough oxygen.**

**A red blur materialized into the Flash and Wally took one look at his comrade, and realizing the urgency of the situation he picked him up and disappeared instantly.**

**Dick stood up, he paused momentarily, stunned by the suddenness of the events that had just transpired.."What the hell just happened." he murmured, his heart racing as he turned on his heel and rushed out of the room.**

**end part 19**


	20. Chapter 20

**Part 20**

**Dick rushed into the waiting room, closely followed by Donna. Wally was waiting for them, anxiously pacing back and forth across the room.**

**"Where is he?" Donna cried, her voice shaky with panic.**

**"Their still working on him." Wally replied, his voice equally as stressed as he walked over and sat in a nearby chair and began to bounce his knee up and down nervously. "God Dick...he wasn't breathing when we got here." he added, looking at Dick with terrified eyes.**

**"NO...he's going to be okay...please tell me he's going to be okay...He can't have come this far just to..." Donna's frightened voice faded off...unwilling to say the word that came to her mind...unwilling to accept that possibility.**

**Dick stepped forward pulling her into his arms...not just to comfort and reassure her, but to fill that need for himself. "Have they said anything? Anything at all?" Dick asked desperate for any small detail that could give some clue as to what had happened.**

**"No..they took him straight into the room...they made me leave straight away...The last I saw they were trying to resuscitate him...This is bad Dick, really bad."**

**"You should call Dinah..let her know whats happened, and tell her we'll call again when we know more...Then let Garth know, we didn't get a chance to tell him before we took off." Dick said, falling into the role of leader. Giving orders for some reason helped ease the panic he felt..it gave him a sense of doing something to control the situation.**

**"I'll go tell them myself, it'll be quicker." Wally said vanishing from the room, leaving nothing but a tell tale breeze to show he had been there. He needed to move, the adrenaline that flowed through his body was making it impossible to sit still any longer.**

**Donna felt her whole body trembling...this couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. How could things have gone backwards so quickly. "It's going to be okay...Dick please tell me it's going to be okay." she begged again.**

**Dick held her tighter, he could feel his own heart racing as shock set in. "He's strong Donna, we all know that...he won't give in without a fight." he felt her nod against his chest. They both knew Roy would fight tooth and nail to get through this...The Archer had been delt some harsh blows in his life, but he had always fought his way back...A strange calmness descended over Dick..this would be one of those times when Roy just had to fight a little harder, but he'd get through it, he was sure of it.**

**The sound of a throat clearing caused them both to jump. They turned to see a doctor standing in the doorway, the look in his eyes made Dicks blood run cold.**

**Donna stepped away from Dick, eyes wide, fear flashing in their azure depths. She walked backwards, shaking her head repeatedly. "No!...No, please." she whispered as she read the doctors expression. She flopped weakly into a nearby chair and began to sob.**

**"I'm sorry...we did everything we could, but we weren't able to save him." the doctor said softly.**

**Dick couldn't speak...he couldn't breath. He tried to gain control of his thoughts and his mind but he couldn't. He felt like he had been kicked in the gut..like the wind had been knocked out of him. "W..what." was all he managed to stammer.**

**The doctor understood exactly what Dick wanted to ask. "We're not entirely sure...We know he had developed pneumonia, but we're really not certain that was the cause of death...We'll know more after we run some tests..I'm really sorry." he said gently as he left the room so they could grieve in private.**

**Dick stood quietly, his mind racing...he needed to gain control, he needed to be strong..The sounds of Donna's distraught sobs echoed in the room...He had to be there for her, he had to be there for the team...he was the strong one, they looked to him for leadership...they looked to him for strength. That strength failed him...tears he tried to stop forced their way through his tightly closed eyes and rolled down his face as he stood stiffly, fists clenched by his side.**

**"No!...Oh god no!...This can't be happening."**

**Dick opened his eyes...Wally had returned with Garth...both stood in the doorway looking horrified towards their other team mates...Knowing what had happened...refusing to believe, but having no choice.**

**"D...Dinah wasn't home." Wally whispered, before sinking to his knees and putting his hands over his face...not even trying to hide the grief that he felt.**

**Garth stepped forward and placed a hand on Wally's shoulder...offering support that he himself needed. He said nothing...he couldn't speak...his own grief, as well as his friends cutting through him like a knife. They had always been five...They had fought together and supported each other through thick and thin...Titans together in good times and bad...Five of them, it wasn't possible for it to be four. Of all the enemies they had faced...of all the dangers Roy had endured, how could this one not have been defeated as well?...Garths expression, that had thus far remained stoic, suddenly melted...and he to was unable to stem the tears that broke free and ran down his face.**

**Life as they had known it had been changed forever...The world had suddenly become a darker place.**

**end 20**


	21. Chapter 21

**Part 21**

**The next two weeks past in a blur, Dick thought back to the memory of Donna holding Roy's lifeless body in her arms, her sobs ringing in the ears of Garth, Wally and himself who could only stand by and watch, none of them could help to ease the burden she felt at that moment..They all had there own private turmoil to face, and afterwards they each withdrew into their own worlds for a while, to absorb what had happened, to allow time for it to become real...not the surreal nightmare that it was.**

**Then telling Dinah...that was something Dick had to do himself. As he had said the words they had sounded as though someone else was saying them...as though they came from somewhere far away, and he was just looking on as he tore Dinah's heart in half. He still had the picture in his mind...the absolute sheer devastation that showed on her face as she sank slowly to her knees and began to sob...She had lost Ollie the year before, and now Roy was gone as well...the two men she had loved most in this world...no matter what had happened between her and Ollie she had still loved him, and Roy...Roy was like a cross between the little brother, and the son she would never have.**

**How do you make a three year old understand about death? That was something Dick had asked himself over and over...He stood nearby as Dinah told the little girl. Watching as the sparkle in her little eyes darkened...she cried in Dinahs arms until she couldn't cry anymore. Then after a while she sat up and sniffed.."When will Daddy be back?" she asked. The innocent question showing the confusion of the little girl..who understood her father had died, but had no understanding of the finality of death. In her childish mind Roy had merely gone away for a very long time...she wasn't able to comprehend the meaning of forever.**

**Roy's body was returned to the reservation, a small, private ceremony took place with only thefour remaining original Titans,as well Dinah and Lian and some close Navajo friends that Roy considered family present. As was theNavajo tradition, Roy was buried with a number of items..food, water, his Indian blanket as well as other personal items that were important to the Archer, the casket wasn't sealed...so Roy's spirit could be released. Roy would have wanted to be buried nowhere else...Arizona was his home, he may not have lived there since he was thirteen, but when he spoke of 'home' all who knew him knew what he meant.**

**A memorial service had been held a few days after they had buried Roy..They held it on the island, the Tower providing a magnificent backdrop...a testimony to the hero's life Roy had lived. Dick was both pleased and annoyed to see the crowd that turned out to say goodbye to their friend and comrade...pleased that so many had thought highly of Roy, and annoyed that some of those in attendance had judged the Archer harshly whilst he was alive.**

**Annoyance was one of the emotions that he now felt...annoyance, frustration and down right anger as he read the report in front of him. It was the doctors report, it detailed the cause of Roy's death. He appeared to have caught a simple virus, which had developed into a mild pneumonia...that alone wasn't enough to kill him. No the cause of his friend no longer being here was something that made Dicks boil and enhanced the feelings of anger he felt...angry at the world for being so unfair, angry at Roy for dying...and angry at himself for taking them all away on that mission in Turkey and leaving Roy...if he had been here he would have noticed, he was sure he would have. He would have seen the sudden deteriation in Roy's breathing...the wheezing that occurred after he had taken the new medication the doctor had given him the day before...If he had been here Roy would never have taken the second dose of that medication shortly before Dick had found him that day...and he would still be alive.**

**"Damn it!" Dick yelled, throwing the report across the room, annoyedwhen it fluttered softly to the ground. He stood up and ran his hands through his hair. This wasn't fair...life had been cruel to Roy, to go through everything that the Archer had been through and to lose the battle to something so damn avoidable wasn't rational. Dick should have been there..he would have known, he would have seen the signs...he was sure he would have.**

**"Dick?"**

**Dick turned at the softly spoken sound of his name to find Dinah standing, watching him quietly.**

**"I came to get some more of Lian's things...I.." she paused watching him closely as he shifted his feet uncomfortably, even with the mask on she could see the hurt and confusion in his face. "Don't do this to yourself Dick." she said as she walked closer.**

**"Do what?" Dick asked, turning and facing away from her gaze..unable to endure the way it made him feel vulnerable.**

**"You know what I mean...Roy always worried about the way you needed to stay in control...the way you carried everyone else's burdens on your shoulders...He said you always felt responsible if things didn't go the way they should, if a team mate was hurt or..." she paused for a moment. "This wasn't your fault and you know that...deep down you know."**

**He stood silently for a moment, his head down, one hand on the back of his neck. "I received the medical report...Shit Dinah..it was an allergic reaction to the medication...That's all it was...the transplant wasn't anything to do with him dying. Hell if it had been I could have understood, but this...this really sucks. If we hadn't have been out helping complete strangers in another country he might still be alive today...I might have noticed something was wrong after he took the first dose, the he would never have taken the second one which..."**

**"Stop it!...Don't you dare do this...This was something no one could predict, you risked your life to give Roy a chance to survive, there's no way in hell I'm going to let you question yourself now. Roy respected you more than he respected any other man in his life...he loved you like a brother..he would have died for you and he knew you would do the same for him. If he knew you were tearing yourself up over this he'd kick your ass." Dinah stated firmly but gently.**

**"He would wouldn't he?" he mumbled.**

**"Yes he would..and you'd be wise to remember that kiddo. You're human, you don't have any psychic powers...don't put this on yourself, if you do your forgetting what Roy was like, he had some big knocks in his life but he always bounced back. This is a tough knock, but we've all got to bounce back, it's what Roy would have wanted, it's what he would expect...don't let him down."Dinah said as she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him.**

**At first he had wanted to pull away, He felt uncomfortable in the embrace..but after a moments hesitation he returned the hug, he now knew why Roy loved Dinah so much... He lay his cheek on the top of Dinah's head and managed a weak smile..he knew she was right, it wasn't his fault..he would always wish he could have prevented it...there would always be pain when he thought of the way Roy died, but there was also the good things..the years they had spent together fighting side by side, the wisecracks and the laughter...the camaraderie the five of them shared..there was no way Dick was going to spoil those memories with bitterness and anger. "I won't let him down." he promised...and he was determined he would never break that promise.**

**end part 21**


	22. Chapter 22

**Part 22**

**Donna stared silently at the framed photographs that were on her bedside table, she sat slowly on the end of the bed and reached out to pick one up...Roy's smiling face beamed up at Lian who sat on his shoulders looking back down at him happily. He had loved that little girl so much...the thought of missing out on her life...not seeing her grow up, was one of his greatest fears. She felt the deep burning emptiness in her heart opening up again...a lump forming in her throat as she tried and failed to stop the tears from welling in her eyes and spilling down her cheeks.**

**Brushing the tears away she put the photo down and reached over to pick up the other one that sat next to it up. It was a photo of a little boy...a little boy with curly red hair and a cherubic smile on his face...It seemed like yesterday that she had buried her son...the pain of losing Roy had rekindled the raw emotions..the crippling grief she had felt when the little boy had died. The grief of Roy's death was now intertwined with that of her son's...she couldn't think of either one of them without opening the wounds she felt at the loss of the other. She ran her fingers gently over the photo..over the little boy's face. "No one will ever replace you sweetheart." she whispered as she returned the photo to the table...and no one would, both Roy and Bobby would have their ownplace in her heart forever, others might join them, but no one would ever replace them.**

**She brushed away the tears and stood up, turning and quietly walking out of the room and down the corridor towards Roy's room. She opened the door and walked inside..leaving the door open and the light off..allowing the light from the corridor to cast a gentle glow around the room.**

**Everything was as it was on the day Roy had died..No one had been able to face packing anything away...One day they would have to, but for now things stayed as they were..filled with memories of Roy's life..of his existence.**

**Looking around her she felt a deep sense of peace descending on her...The native American theme that ran through the room, the photos and his drums...even the scattering of Lian's toys that lay on the floor in the corner...She could feel him in this room, she could hear his voice..his laughter.**

**She moved towards the bed, it was still unmade...Roy rarely bothered making it "Why bother making it when you're only going to mess it up again when you go to bed?" he had said when she scolded him playfully about it. Now she was grateful it had been left the way it was...she could almost see him laying there..beckoning her to join him.**

**Sitting down on the edge of it, she picked up his pillow and hugged it to her, his scent was still softly lingering in the fabric and she buried her face into it..."By Rhea...I miss you so much." she murmured. **

**The tears threatened again but she refused to let them come..swallowing hard she forced them away..she wouldn't cry here...not in this room. Roy wouldn't have wanted her to do that...he loved her too much and her tears would have only hurt him as much as she herself was hurting.**

**She was grateful for the time they had together...for his loving her as much as he did...for him finally realizing that pushing her away while he was ill was not going to protect her from the heartbreak of his death. Because he had realized that..because he had let her back into his heart, he had given her the gift of spending his last couple of months with him, loving him..The few days and nights they had spent in Arizona, talking, laughing..loving and being together would be memories she would treasure for a life time.**

**Sighing deeply, she lay down on the bed, curling up into a ball around the pillow she continued to hug. Feeling safe and warm, feeling he was with her..she drifted into a contented sleep.**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Almost twelve months later Donna again found herself looking at Roy's photo..There was still pain, but there was happiness as well, she no longer remembered his death when she looked at his face...she remembered his life, the good things about him. The way he grinned cheekily when she walked into a room, his laughter, the constant wisecracks and jokes that once so annoyed her..they were now fond memories that she clung to...and again the wonderful memories of their time in Arizona, the last time they were able to really relax and be together..throwing off the worries that had plagued them at the time..those memories were a gift that he had left her with.**

**"Aunty Donna." Lian squealed as she ran into the room and leapt into her arms.**

**"Sweetheart?..I didn't know you where coming today?" Donna said, happily surprised by the little girls unexpected visit.**

**"We were on this side of town..and she wanted to come by." Dinah said smiling happily from the doorway.**

**"I wanted to see Will. " Lian said as she wiggled out of Donna's arms and quietly approached the crib in the corner of the room.**

**Donna smiled happily as she held the little girls hand, looking down on the little boy who slept peacefully in the crib. Memories weren't the only thing Roy had given her in Arizona, she thought as she reached down to stroke the baby's soft red hair.**

**"Aunty Dinah say's Daddy left William for us so that we could always remember how much he loved us." Lian whispered as she watched her little brother sleeping.**

**Donna glanced up at Dinah. "Aunty Dinah is a very wise lady." she replied softly, smiling at the warm feeling that surrounded her...the feeling that Roy was in the room with them, watching over them, smiling at them. **

**end**


End file.
